August 12, 2007

Quick Notes!

  • I don’t know how I am supposed to feel. I am not sure if I am upset or relived. If it is ok to feel smart or I should feel stupid. I don’t know whether to cry or to laugh.
    I am not sure if the word feeling is of any relevance any more.

  • I was shopping the last week and I found a top that reads “I am sexy, I am hot, I am everything you are not” I wanted to buy it as it spoke of my mood back then. Today in my shopping spree I came across a simple t-shirt that looks nothing like me, but still I wanted to buy it as it read “I am very sensitive”. I thought maybe if I wore a sign people will start watching out treating me.

  • I don’t think love was on the cards in the first place, I guess I lost the ability to love. Or may be he proved that even if there was a slightest chance that I can love again this chance is unlikely to happen.
    As for me to love again, I need the miracle of the different man, A man who cares, A man who looks before he treads, A man who is capable of giving, a man who is capable of keeping his word, A man who worth the trust. a man who can understand how traumatized I am, a man who can see that inside me there is nothing that we can call heart as it has been torn by his ruthless ancestors.
    I don’t think love is/ will be on the cards.

  • I just sent an SMS to a friend telling him that I need to cry but I can’t find my tears.

  • The last thing I want right now is to write about Brad, but I guess I should do. I owe myself a detoxification session.

Picture by Pablo Picasso

1 comment:

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

i have been badly touched by these notes; two notes actually spoke of my inner self:

i cant love again, i cant feel what others feel, my heart is senseless... sometimes i think?! how people love, what do they feel ... is there is a man who will ever understand that i have no heart .. but traces and ruins ???

i always say
i wish i cry, but my eyes are dry

we have been badly consumed!!! :(