December 13, 2023

Just 17

Hello World!

It has been 17 years already.

Thanks for listening ❤️

December 04, 2021

October 17, 2021

Why Now?

So, why i am back to blogging?!
Well, I believe no one reads the blog. So this gives me the freedom to scream without being "judged".
And I feel super lonely. I feel unheard. No one hears me. I have been screaming my heart out and no one cares.
And honestly I am super tired.

I don't think I can do it anymore.

So .. hear I am. 

Pouring my heart to my dear void.


Lessons:1/365

Hello world
I decided to get back to blogging.
I will start by writing at least one lesson I learned each day.
My goal is to learn something new everyday and keeping track of it.

Lesson 1:

I need to stop acting upon the end results of scenarios I play in my head. 
I need to take those end results in mind, yet take things one step at a time. 

I need to focus on what I have in my hands, not on what would have had been in my hands had I acted differently.

P.S.

It has been a while since I last wrote in English. Sorry for all the mistakes. I promise this is going to get better.

February 01, 2021

Hello Void

I miss the time no one read. It is really funny how lonely I feel because everyone in paying attention.

I guess it is time to get back to deserted blogger. 

Back to the safety of not being heard. 


June 23, 2019

Another Relationship Rant

My relationships sort of follow a certain pattern. I am not going to complain, yet again, about how I was never genuinely loved. I will assume that I was loved. I have been loved of sort. Yet, all those men who - sort of - loved me ended up choosing someone else over me.
All my men chose another women, who seemed at the time they chose them over me as more vulnerable.

I have been broken hearted repeatedly because a man think that I am strong enough to take it.
I have been dumped because I seemed less in need of a man than another woman.

In the words of one of them, "you will live ya Shimaa, she won't"


December 29, 2018

The 12th year

It has been 12 yrs since I wrote my 1st post on this blog.

I have been through a lot.

And honestly, some days - like today - I just feel I am tired.

I am tired .. 

November 06, 2018

Dear Iz

Hello Iz

I am not sure whether you are still reading me or not but in case you passed by this blog I would like you to know that while trying to make a list of the men I have known in the last 15 years I totally forgot you.
Actually I didn't remember you until I was trying to remember how things ended with another guy and why he never contacted me again.

I totally forgot you happened.

Imagine!


October 07, 2018

Dry Season

I fear the day I run out of men. 
I had dry seasons before, and I remember how it felt. But then it poured again. And it sort of pouring now but I can smell another dry season hitting hard. And I am not sure whether It is gonna be a temporary thing or that will be it.

I think this is why people get married. Because whenever you are married you sort of avoid that type of fear. 

Few months ago I was so scared to settle into a relationship because who would want to eat the same dish for the rest of their lives, and right now I fear of starvation.

I can't survive another dry spell I guess and you know what's worse? I have no man who would want to settle down with me.