January 17, 2017

Lessons of Change

Though I don't like writing about "him" yet there is something that I have learned being with him.
It is simple, intuitive yet worth writing about, you don't have to stick to a person who makes yoi sad. A good relationship is the one you will always remember positively. A good relationship has its up and downs but on the overall, you will always feel positive about it.

This might need elaboration. Maybe later, but for now always remember, if your memories together aren't happy ones, if you don't long for more of said happiness then you are on the wrong track.

January 11, 2017

Crystal Clear

One of the things I learned about me and my relationships' pattern is that I am the problem not men.
They had their share and everything. But it is me who can't settle. I get bored and I start nagging.
I nag for whatever I know I can't get. I nag not because I want it or need it, I nag because I am bored.
Why bored? I Have no idea.

I am starting to see myself in a different light and I am starting to hate myself.

For the 1st time I realize that when H called me "green" he was right. And I was totally stupid to feel fresh being called "green".

Nothing is good about an unripe fruit.

I am tired. And it is a long road to go. I am loving the light but I hate what it made me see.

I am scared. I know I have always been scared but this time I am scared my bad old habits will kill the light. I don't want boredom to kill the light.

I love the light.