January 11, 2017

Crystal Clear

One of the things I learned about me and my relationships' pattern is that I am the problem not men.
They had their share and everything. But it is me who can't settle. I get bored and I start nagging.
I nag for whatever I know I can't get. I nag not because I want it or need it, I nag because I am bored.
Why bored? I Have no idea.

I am starting to see myself in a different light and I am starting to hate myself.

For the 1st time I realize that when H called me "green" he was right. And I was totally stupid to feel fresh being called "green".

Nothing is good about an unripe fruit.

I am tired. And it is a long road to go. I am loving the light but I hate what it made me see.

I am scared. I know I have always been scared but this time I am scared my bad old habits will kill the light. I don't want boredom to kill the light.

I love the light. 

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