June 18, 2014

On Needs

Sameh used to tell me that my problem is that I keep mixing between what I need and what I want.

He might be right because my list of needs includes lots of silly things.

* I need a hug. A squeezing hug. A hug that I didn't ask for.
Not only a hug. I need to be hugged by a man. Not my father, not my brother and not any of my uncles.
I need a squeezing hug by a man who loves me enough to take me into his arms and squeeze my fears and issues out of my bones.

* I need emotional safety. I need to be, again, liked for who I am. To be adored regardless my imperfections.

* I need not to nag or beg. I need things to go the way that I want without having to fight neither myself nor anyone else.

* I need fruitful talks. I need someone who puts me ahead of other things and maybe equally to himself. Again someone who isn't obliged to do it by blood.

I need a man. I could go about and say lots of things but deep down it is all about needing a man to genuinely love me.

I need to be loved the way I want. At least when I really need it.

I need a man ... but apparently the universe believes it is not a need. It is a mere "want" that could be skipped.

June 16, 2014

The Drill

A couple of years ago I was watching Grey's Anatomy and I envied Meredith and the gang for having Dr.Webber.

I wanted to have my Dr.Webber too. I wanted someone to guide me without being controlling. Someone who would help me reach parts of my hidden potential and push me to find more.

I wanted my Richard Webber and God was kind and gave me Abdullah Kamal.

He died suddenly on Friday the 13th. His kind heart failed him and us.

I have spent years trying to explain loss to people but loss can't be explained.
No one would get it unless they walked down the same dark isle.

I know the drill. I have been there, I have done that.

And the worst part is ... it gets worse with time.

This too shall pass ... over my heart!

June 10, 2014

The Burden of Writing!

I have been writing all my life. When I started this blog it was a way to lighten the weight of the love life/ life drama.

Writing had been my therapist and my therapy.

Then my dream came true!

And finally I am writing and someone, somewhere is reading. Someone that I don't know of.

And that someone is judging me because I am the girl who wrote about the "Burden of Sex"!


You can find the article here: http://www.dotmsr.com/ar/204/1/17954/#.U5YoyhnfrqA