February 18, 2009

A Little Fun

I found these on Askandarani's blog. Try them out :)

Your Love is Based on Affection

Your need for love is very primal and basic. You can't imagine living without love.

And for you, love is something that's best expressed through touch.

You're always up for a hug or a cuddle. And you feel a bit rejected when you don't get enough affection.

Whether you're sharing a blanket or sharing an order of fries, you thrive when you're close to the person you love.

Why your love can last: You express your love freely and frequently

Why your love can fail: You can come off as clingy, and this freaks people out

Your Love Style is Storge

For you, love and friendship are almost the same thing

And your love tends to be the enduring, long lasting kind

(You've been known to still have connections with exes)

But sometimes your love is not the most passionate

Leap before you look, and you'll find that fire you crave

February 13, 2009

Harassment Again

It has been almost a year on the incident when I was sexually harassed in the safe streets of Cairo. I was out with my cousin when out of no where appeared an old guy, old because I think he is around 50, wearing a suit and looks decent and started showering our ears with dirty sexual comments. And because we was taught that whenever someone starts talking like that in the street the best way is to walk faster and leave him behind, so we did. But the old, seemed to be decent man started running after us. My cousin actually started turning yellow and I was the older supposedly wiser and I made a decision to face the harasser. I suddenly stopped and turned to face him. I had many scenarios that all flashed in my mind in a fraction of a second. Scenarios that ranged from that he will run the moment I turn, or that I will actually has to physically engage in a fight. I started remembering all the defense moves my brother taught me and all the sexual harassers’ psychology HH has been teaching me, all in a fraction of second.

And I faced him. Every time I remember that moment I get a cold shiver. The guy’s pants were unzipped (imagine the view!)and he was talking dirty. It was scary and I was alone because I left my cousin behind and she was in shock. The crowded streets of Cairo all of a sudden seemed empty and the only sign of help was a speeding car that stopped a 100 meters from where we were. And I started yelling at him. He didn’t move at 1st but when I took a step towards him yelling he started running from me so I started running after him yelling and cursing till he disappeared.
My cousin suggested that we should not tell our parents about that incident because they might get worried. I agreed because it wasn’t the 1st time for me to get harassed in the safe streets of Cairo yet it was the 1st time to be that scary. Usually sexual harassment in the streets of Cairo will take the form of dirty talks. A typical scenario will be a woman minding her own business in the street and a man suddenly getting close to her whispering something dirty, really dirty. But recently things started taking different forms.

I remember that I came back to blog about that incident and the only thing that I had in mind was, what if I was alone. The fact that my cousin was in the background gave me an advantage. Though she was yellow and barely breathing yet for the harasser she was another set of hands and legs that could at any time start kicking his ass. Or even noisy vocal cords that could start screaming at anytime. She was an advantage. She wasn’t covering my back but I wasn’t alone. But what were my chances winning in that situation if I was really alone? What if the speeding car I thought help wasn’t really help and the guy in the car didn’t really notice that I was in trouble or better noticed and was just watching out of curiosity. What if the harasser used his physical strength? What if he wasn’t one? Would I have had the chance to get back home safe?

I got over that incident and almost forgot it till yesterday when I found
her blogging about a similar incident. She was harassed by a group of teenagers. And she called the police. A police officer came to the rescue and one of the guys harassed her was caught. She filed a report and things seemed like justice will finally prevail.
Now, people are pressuring her to withdraw her charges against the boy. They are twisting facts to put her in the frame of a criminal and making a victim out of him just because he is 19. They are using twisted words like you are taking his right for a future. I read comments on her blog asking her to not make a criminal out of the boy. There are actually people who are asking her to give that guy a chance to go harass more women. They are asking her to give a card blanche to such males to think of women as sex toys.

There are even people talking about that she deserved it because she isn’t veiled.
I am veiled. I don’t wear make up. I don’t wear high heals. I walk like a soldier. I wear a frown to the street and I still got harassed. I didn’t report it because I was never taught to report it. I am someone who is familiar with law. So, I know that there is a law to put these harassers in jail and yet I never reported it because I was always scared that people will accuse me of being the bad one. I was always scared because I know that in such incidents it is my word against his. And reporting such incidents means a scandal. So, I’d rather keep to myself and pretend nothing ever happened.

I keep it to myself because everyone believes I am a sex toy. And I will be accused of arousing the dead manhood of any given male just because I happen to be a female. So, in any harassing situation it will always be my fault.

It is always my fault because I was born Egyptian, in a community with a serious identity problem. It is my fault because I am a woman and a genius spread the word the women are just sex toys!

I don’t know what I would have done if I were her. It is a really hard choice. It would have been easier if there was a law to ensure the criminal will go to trial whether the victim continued with her charges or not. It would have been easier if the law didn’t make it personal between the harasser and the victim. It would have been easier if the guy’s family didn’t play the future card. It would have been easier if they didn’t try to play on the mother inside her. It would have been easier if the smart asses claiming that the veil is the answer for all problems would have kept their opinions to themselves. It would have been easier if we lived in a community where women aren’t viewed prostitutes by default. (Though even a prostitute has the right to walk safe in the streets)

It would have been easier to decide if she wasn’t deciding for every female.

What would you have done if you were in her shoes?
I pray for her to have the courage to decide. I pray for her to have the peace of mind amidst the pressures around her. I pray for her to get through this tough time. I pray for justice to prevail.

Because without justice savages will possess the world!


You can find her post here http://amyasser.blogspot.com/2009/02/blog-post.html

February 11, 2009

Quote of the Day

It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well. Rene Descartes

February 09, 2009

I wish I were a fish!

I had many moments when I wondered why I was created human. I had many moments starring at cats wondering how my life would be if I was one. Being a cat would have been a great thing. I would have been fury, cuddly, cute and playful. I would have enjoyed that utter peace of mind. A cat literally has nothing to worry about compared to humans. Given I was born a cat and was destined to the worst a cat can be and live in the streets of Cairo that would have been far better than being human. A cat in the streets of Cairo will fear boys, cars and dogs which are the things I fear too. My brother pointed out that it will be an awful life because I will have to eat off trash cans, but hello! Trash cans sounds like a feast for a cat. I could have lived with this. And who knows maybe I was to be a fortunate cat who is a spoiled pet in a comfy house. Could anyone tell me, what “fluffy” has to worry about?

Humans are arrogant species. We, humans, believe that the whole world is ours. Those who believe in God think God created this whole world for us. Those who don’t, believe that a serious of very clever fortunate events has put humans on top of the chain of life.
And out of this belief and this arrogance most of us question their existence. We think of things like who am I to the world or what did I contribute to the world and we think of big things like change and how we can push it down the throats of everyone to save humanity.

But do you think a Giraffe has such thoughts? Do you think an elephant wakes up in the morning saying it is a good day to save lives? Do you think a gorilla wonder about the value of her job or even a parrot thinks why he is alive?

I really envy them for knowing that they are too small to wonder. I envy them for living in that clear world. In the world of birds, animals and plants none of them do something out of ability. They don’t kill because they can; those who kill do it to live. Those who got killed know when to give in to destiny and those who are left behind know how to go on.
In our side of the world we do things because we can, not because we need. Even our needs are mostly irrelevant to our capabilities and it is actually called ambition and it is praised.

I just can’t help but wonder how in our side of the world we fight to prevail not to co-exist.
I can’t help but dreaming how life would be if I was just a tiny colorful fish calling a beautiful coral reef home and wise enough to know that the beauty surrounding her wasn’t created for her own pleasure. It would have been wonderful to not to think too much. It would have been a blessing to be tiny and never mind.

I really wish I was that fish