January 17, 2015

On being a Cling

Hello world!

I miss writing in English as much as I miss writing about myself.
I feel like I have lost my touch. I am not pouring as much feelings & dark thoughts into writing as I used to do.

Anyway, as I have been single for quiet sometime now. And no one even thought of asking me out on a date in almost a year. Also I noticed that the moment I start flirting with anyone is the moment he makes sure to make it clear that he isn't up for a relationship.

So I thought there must be something totally off about me.

Maybe that I am putting on weight or age or even acne scars! Maybe I am losing my sense of humor. Or even worse I have become too senstive to be dealt with.

Actually, there are plenty of reasons that could scare them away but I think I know the one and only reason that makes me such a turn off.

Clinging!

Do I cling?

I don't think so, yet I might be giving signs that I am up to a serious relationship. And that I might be having expecatations. I might even want to get married. Not to mention the viriginty thing and the no sex without marriage rule.

Well .. if i were a man i would have been turned off. Why would I ask someone who have expectations of a decent healthy relationship out! Why would I get close to a virgin who won't lose her virginity without a ring?!

There is no good reason to take such risks.

They have every right to be scared!

*Sigh*