January 17, 2015

On being a Cling

Hello world!

I miss writing in English as much as I miss writing about myself.
I feel like I have lost my touch. I am not pouring as much feelings & dark thoughts into writing as I used to do.

Anyway, as I have been single for quiet sometime now. And no one even thought of asking me out on a date in almost a year. Also I noticed that the moment I start flirting with anyone is the moment he makes sure to make it clear that he isn't up for a relationship.

So I thought there must be something totally off about me.

Maybe that I am putting on weight or age or even acne scars! Maybe I am losing my sense of humor. Or even worse I have become too senstive to be dealt with.

Actually, there are plenty of reasons that could scare them away but I think I know the one and only reason that makes me such a turn off.

Clinging!

Do I cling?

I don't think so, yet I might be giving signs that I am up to a serious relationship. And that I might be having expecatations. I might even want to get married. Not to mention the viriginty thing and the no sex without marriage rule.

Well .. if i were a man i would have been turned off. Why would I ask someone who have expectations of a decent healthy relationship out! Why would I get close to a virgin who won't lose her virginity without a ring?!

There is no good reason to take such risks.

They have every right to be scared!

*Sigh*

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I, for one, am dying to sleep with you.

Shimaa Gamal said...

thank you for proving my point.

you, for one, are dying to sleep with me. yet, you and so many like you, will never dare to ask me out or even consider a relationship with me.

what's so tempting in sleeping with me anyway?

why can't i have a decent relationship!

why do i always end up with guys like you?

Mohamed ELgindy said...

U r doing the right thing anf being single better than a relation with the wrong guy .
I am sure some day u will meet the one whom u deserve ISA (I envy him already)

Shimaa Gamal said...

sure :) thank you mohamed :)

Anonymous said...

You're welcome, but i believe im no point prover as im 26. Im so sorry if i caused you any trouble, i was drunk in love when i wrote that last night.
Sorry again. You are a very beautiful woman. I'd ask you out if you were my age.

Shimaa Gamal said...

you didn't cause trouble.

thank you

Anonymous said...

M,
Hello Shimaa,
it's been a long time,
hope you are doing well in other areas, i.e other than love life.
Shimaa believe me relationships are over rated, I have been around and have my fair share but of course other people experiences are no consolation.
It's understandable to long for a relationship and have someone close to share life with and that sometimes is really really complicated specially with people of high intelligence such as yourself,
before I lose directions in the subject matter trying to make a point which i failed to make:)
it's time to stop.
wish you well as always

Shimaa Gamal said...

Hello M :)

you have been missed :)

Unknown said...

Hi Shimaa,

Been a while since I commented as well. I just wanted to say that when I read you post, you sounded like you were in good spirits.

As an Eastern woman, I have noticed that most men from 'our parts' are lucky that someone married them. Then are the winners in marriage but portray the part of some martyr. Mostly women are miserable after marriage because these men are so selfish. I haven't been on a date in 2 years and I have to say its done wonders for my self esteem. There is no point dating from a shitty selection. Do something you love instead. And InshAllah I hope that's how you meet your Mr Right.

Faith in Allah commands us to trust his judgements during moments of uncertainty and fear. I trust that He will bring you the right person at the right time. I truly admire your principles and believe you should stick to them. No God fearing, decent man will delude a woman for sex, as many do. I have been fortunate enough to witness what becomes of men like this, and you my dear, are too precious to end up with one of them.

Keep being brave, stay strong, InshAllah what you pray for will come to you when the time is right. And I will tell you what I tell myself, it's OK to daydream, but ultimately everything has already been written, so don't worry about the future, be a good person now and Allah will take care of the rest and reward you.

Hugs from Toronto