August 27, 2008

Why Italian ;)



This recipe is really Italian, it reminds me of Italian men “minimum effort and lots of satisfaction” Gino D'Acampo



God, If only I can be that lucky :)

August 25, 2008

Current Thought – Al Lemby





Lord Allenby is a symbol for an important era that shaped the history of Egypt and the whole Middle East. He was a man of war and a man of politics two things that harmed Egypt for many years.


Egyptians hate Allenby (at least those who know history do), not only because he was the British high commissioner sent by the government of his majesty to control the
1919 revolution but also for his role in the WWI and forcefully using the Egyptians in paving his way to conquer Palestine and Syria as he chopped the last pieces of the old Ottomans empire. (I know that Arabia love Allenby as they love Lawrence but this is another long story).
Out of that hate, Egyptians (those who live in the Canal area) celebrate their oldest feast
(Sham El Nessim) by burning a dummy representing Allenby. A tradition that was passed through generations and is still maintained though a lot doesn’t even know who that Allenby was.

And because many kept burning the dummy without knowing the symbol, a movie genius took the Egyptianized name of Lord Allenby and made a fortune selling a character that represents the crisis of the Egyptian community.
In Arabic, the word “Al” is equivalent to the English “The”. So Allenby’s name was promptly broken to “Al” “Lenby” making a noun out of the word “Lenby” a noun that is completely meaningless. And because of some Egyptian phonetic problems the letter “N” is sometimes confused with the letter “M” (and this deserves a whole post) so the new born noun was pronounced “lemby” not “lenby”. And consequently “Lemby” has become a description not only for the dummy burnt every year but for that bizarre character representing the collection of Egyptian negativity.


The new Al-lemby can’t be called a typical Egyptian because he is everything but typical. But though he is nothing like a typical Egyptian he resembles the original Allenby in being a symbol for an era. Allenby was a symbol for Egypt under the British influence. Al-Lemby is a symbol for Egypt under the new world system influence. He is a combination of the worst of everything in Egypt. He is illiterate, with no definite job, which leads him to use whatever he can to earn his day, he uses scams, little insignificant jobs and anything that will lead to a few pounds so that he can eat and get stoned or drunk according to the case.


He represents Egypt under the influence of the new world system because he prefers unconsciousness as means to face the cruelty of life. He represents Egypt under the influence of the new world system because he is a first degree consumer regardless the fact that most of the time he can’t afford his basic needs. He is Egyptians under the influence of the new world system because his moral system has been affected by those who found there ways up the ladder and he doesn’t really mind the means to get him where they are.


He is Egypt though he represents the worst in the Egyptians. He is Egypt because he was created to criticize Egypt. He is Egypt because making fun of things is the one thing Egyptians didn’t lose through time.


And though he was created to be shallow & illiterate and those movies about him was categorized as for laugh only yet he still represented the deep Egyptian philosophy, unintended philosophy of course which is another thing that makes him representing Egypt in away, as every Egyptian is his own philosopher. Egyptians make fun out of their miseries and find the virtue in the darkest moments.


Mr. AL-Lemby in one of his movies posed a very important question that made everyone including me laugh. The scene was about two prisoners who tried to escape prison and as the new prison governor he was supposed to punish them. So in between laughter he asked are you punishing them because they tried to escape or because the failed?


Just like Hamlet’s eternal to be or not to be the question poses itself do we punish people because they tried breaking a rule or because they failed breaking it?
The question might seem shallow, because typically we will punish those who will fail not on their failure but because if they succeeded we won’t have anyone to punish.
At least that was the answer I had in mind until recently, when something popped up. When we punish someone we don’t punish them because they failed and not even because they tried we punish those we punish only because we can.


For everything we do (good or bad), it was never about the reason we give for doing it. If we do something we do it only because we can!
Picture by: Hossam Hammad

August 20, 2008

29


29 years ago my mother suffered some unbearable pain, it was before the golden time of painless labor, to bring me to world. 29 years ago I didn’t promptly scream like any new born, seems that I was suffocating with the umbilical cord so I took a bit longer. 29 years ago the moment I breathed was the turn point moment of my life. It was the moment I accepted that strange uncertain world.
After 29 years of screaming as I was introduced to Miss Life, the world is still as strange as I first met it and everything is still uncertain. After 29 years I guess I am still as hopeful as that baby.
29 is an important sign in the road called my life as it marks the final count down to the 30 years milestone. 30 has always been the age I mark as the end of history and though I have slightly changed this idea I still believe that 30 is a number and it is still an important mark on the road.
I never thought that I will really ever sit and assess the little victories I call achievements. As I always fail to count the good things I do. I am best at counting mistakes, I am best at mourning failure and I am best at degrading success. I don’t know if this makes me a perfectionist because I am not but though I keep telling everyone that I am perfect, sometime I mean it, but I know I am not. And I have to admit that my eyes are trained to see only my imperfections.
So, the last year I put a list of things to do before turning 30. The last year was the year I decided to take a break and reflect. I decided to cut off my list of ambitions to few things that fit the definition of a goal. A goal should always be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timed. And that were the criteria I used to define my goals.
The first on my list was to quit my old job. Something that I am proud I did. I am even more proud of hanging on without a job for a little more than a year. Mainly because this time means that I didn’t cave and do something I hate. I am still hanging onto the NO I said and meant.
The second on my list was to lose weight. I decided to lose weight the day the scale screamed 84 kgs. That meant that I am dangerously overweight and that my eyes, and pant size if that matter, are not cheating me. I didn’t like my reflection on the mirror and I didn’t want to age bad. I have always wanted to age good. I want to be healthy for as long as I will live.
I am 62 kgs now. I managed losing a little more than 25% off my body weight. I did that with the help of my brother who supported me when my will failed. Something that I am really proud of, because losing weight isn’t an easy task.
The third on my list of to do’s before the age of thirty was my masters degree, though I am not really into it and I have been thinking tp omit it off the list but yet I am still keeping it. Maybe I will change my mind this year.
The last goal was to finish writing the project I call book. It Something that I am doing solely for myself to prove that I can do anything I want just if I was patient enough to put on the effort needed to finish it.
Now as I revised my pre-30 list of goals I discovered that I have already accomplished two of them. And the other two could be accomplished in a year if I maintained the same determination I had as I achieved the other two goals. Something that doesn’t sound as bad as I feel towards these accomplishments as I feel that these two things can’t be compared to running a profitable business or having a brilliant position in a remarkable organization.
Yet, these are not the only accomplishments of my 29th year. My major achievement for the year was something my sister discovered. I managed surviving as a loner for a year without her and it seems that it will be the norm from now on. She got married last November and she relocated to Dubai. And for the first time both of us had to deal with the world alone. When she travelled I discovered that I have done every little thing with her. I can’t even decide what to wear without asking her opinion. She is my best friend, my sister and even daughter. And one morning I had to kiss her goodbye because she has to pursue life somewhere else. That morning I felt that I ripped my heart out and that heart grew legs and is walking away. I didn’t cry, though I am now, and being in control of that moment is an achievement. It is a little moment of victory when my sense of responsibility took over my sense of loss. I didn’t cry because she was worried. She is young and travelling into the unknown. I made sure that the last thing she sees was an assuring smile that everything is going to be good and that if at anytime things went bad. There is something strong that she can run back to. I didn’t cry because I knew I needed that assuring smile too. That the shy me will manage a way to deal with the world without hiding behind her little sister. It is really an achievement. A victory for both of us.
If surviving alone is the only achievement for the year it is fair enough to make that year fruitful. And even if that year came with no achievements I wasn’t really going to be disappointed as my last birthday was wish-less. I wished for nothing last year. I was too hurt. And I didn’t want more hurt. So I didn’t have expectations for that year which is reflected in my high satisfaction with almost nothing.
But this year I feel hopeful. I don’t know how and why I got the hope back. But this year I will have wishes. Wishes that might or might not be turned to goals. Simple or maybe shallow but yet I still have the right to dream.
This year I will wish for finding the thing that I will be doing for the next 30 years. Something that will add to the world as it adds to me, something that I enjoy doing even when I am bored, and something that will solve the important equation of value. I want to do something that will make use of the things that I have accumulated in the last 30 years as I accumulate more.
The second wish will be for a decent relation. Regardless the name, but I am done with undefined and unstable relationship. But I want to be in a place where I know that my partner won’t flee the next morning, something that maintains a minimum degree of emotional stability. And my third and final wish will be finishing the rest of my 30 years goals. I am not sure if I am asking for a miracle. But I am in the mood to believe that I deserve one. So Miracle, I am waiting.
And just in case anyone wondered why I am so hopeful celebrating the last mark before turning 30 the answer will be because my friends and family gave me a whole month of celebrations.
This birthday is really special not only it looks special 20-08-2008 but also because everyone that matters remembered. So for all those who remembered and reading this I don’t really have enough words to show my appreciation. Thanks for remembering and thanks for being around and a special thank you goes to those who never forgot.

Happy birthday to me :)

The picture is designed by my friend Hossam

P.S.

I wanted to call that year a name can anyone guess it?




August 18, 2008

Saved by Insomniac :)

My good friend Insomniac decided to be practical about getting me out of the silence mode. She tagged me and on my turn I am tagging you if you are suffering from an episode of silence. It is really fun and I discovered that my music player must be psychic!
I tried translating the Arabic song names into English. And though I tried not to comment but couldn’t fight the temptation.
I would like to see how psychic is the music player of Egyptiana, Askandarani, Nourita & Sherif
It is really fun. Thanks Inso ;)


RULES:
a) Put your iTunes/music player on Shuffle.
b) For each question, press the next button to get you answer.
c) YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!


After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do them themselves.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
La ba27lamak (Not even in your dreams) – Julia Butros
[Fair enough ;)]

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Never Gone – Backstreet Boys
[yeah, just like a good stain LOL]

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
You are still the one – Shania Twain

[so true]


4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Love is – Backstreet boys

[hmm … I doubt]


5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Keda Reda (that’s good/satisfying) – Hesham Abbas

[do you think so?!]


6. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Killing me softly – Cassandra Wilson

[:(]


7. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Something about the way you look tonight – Elton Johns

[?!]


8. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
raye7 3ala fien (where are you going) – Mahmoud El Essily
[yesss!!!]

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Total Eclipse of the Heart – Bonnie Tyler

[unfair]


10. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Je suis malade – Dalida

[to some extent]


11. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Hotel California – The Eagles

[this tag is psychic]


12. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Nassam 3alina el hawa (can’t find a proper translation) – Fayrooz

[exactly]


13. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
I will always love you – Whitney Houston

[This is the only thing I am sure of]


14. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
No mes Ames – J-lo & Marc Anthony
[I love the song but does it fit for a wedding!! will I have a wedding?!!]

15. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Meshwar Taweel (a long ride) – WAMA

[it might be a good choice as it is how I feel about my life sometimes]

16. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Babe – Take that

[Really!! Is that a hobby?!]


17. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Ya Rait (I wish)– Ragheb Allama
[yeah, it is not even a secret. I have a wish, a dream that I hope one day will come true]


18. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
For the first time – Rod Stewart
[huh!]


19. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Meen Hay2dar (who would dare) - loai



20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF?
I won’t say I am in love – Hercules sound track

[ok you got me :)]

The Blah Post

It has been a while; I don’t know what’s wrong. I just can’t finish a post. This morning I thought that I finally grabbed the words. I neatly arranged everything in mind yet I couldn’t type them the same way. I tried every trick I used to do and I ended up with the same result too many thoughts lining up in my mind causing a severe headache and no writings at all.
I want to write about how the human is always the result of any equation in this life. Actually the human is only the factor that matters, humans are the equation not only the result.
I want to write about emotional stability, about how women go through everyday cycle of hope and relapse. I want to write about one of the dark faces of me.
I want to write about the question and the answer I discovered.
I want to finish the list of pending posts.

I want to write. I can't even write emails :(




August 06, 2008

More Butterflies

As I promised my good friends Miss Egyptiana & Insomniac here are more butterflies pics.
Pictures were taken by my cousin @ the Butterfly conservatory, Ontario, Canada.
I will be enjoying a couple of sunny days with cousins so when I am back ISA maybe we will discuss the relation between ugliness and insects :)







August 03, 2008

That's Wise

Q: Why men pull away just as things start to get serious?

A: Probably married, gay or stupid.

Feeding The Butterflies, Please Don't Disturb


My cousin took this pic @ Butterfly conservatory.