June 24, 2008

My Day on the Couch

I woke up to a really weird mood. It is not bad. But it is not good. I woke suffering from an indifference state. I wasn’t indifferent about the world. I was indifferent about myself.

I had a strange dream that started in our old balcony and ended in Bucharest! (This might be the reason for the mood but who knows). I just didn’t feel like doing anything so I decided to surrender to the headache and the heat (almost 40 degrees in Cairo). I turned on the TV and it was movie time.

First it was Mr. Deeds, a good old romantic comedy where everything work for the best. Then Meg Ryan’s French Kiss. I knew that this mood can’t be a good one as I happily sat to watch that very same movie for the second time in less than 24 hours.
The movie is about Kate who was happily coupled with Charlie. Who had to leave to Paris in business but Kate who was too scared to get into a plane (another girl losing a man to a phobia) couldn’t go with him. So in Pairs, Charlie falls for a French Goddess called Juliet who didn’t lack the confidence and had a better taste of fashion. After breaking up with Kate over phone, she got over her phobia (sigh, there are others who are as slow as me) got into a plane, crossed the Atlantic with one aim “get Charlie back”.
The plot puts a French thief in Kate’s way. She was in a place where everything might happen and that guy made sure it did. In Kate’s words, the moment she laid foot on that plane everything she spent all her adult life trying not to happen occurred. She was lost in a foreign country, she lost her passport, her money, along with her two nationalities and she was searching for a man who dumped her. But though everything seemed too bad, it wasn’t really that bad as she learnt that there is no country that can be safe, no company that can be granted and shit does happen. All we can do it to get prepared.

It wasn’t my first time to watch the movie but last night, just before I got tucked to Bucharest with a little child, the only thing that got my attention of the movie was a line by Juliet (the cutie with the little dress and little phobias) in reply to Kate’s accusations of stealing Charlie’s heart the cutie said that she didn’t steal anything that didn’t want to be stolen (ouch!)
{Note to Brad, see ;) someone is applying the same logic}

Today, as I laid back enjoying the re-run this line wasn’t the only thing to grab my attention, it was something Kate did (and no it isn’t related to how to get over a phobia). In the middle of her quest, she called back home. She was crying and telling her mother that she is going to get him back and she is going to make him love her and she will do her best to make him happy.
I guess that this line did what the coffee failed to do this morning, it rang too many bells and I was finally awake. I was like “God, I am not the only stupid in that world. There is another one!”
That woman was crying her heart out for a man, who deliberately hurt her. That woman believed that getting him back is possible and is the only way to make things good again. That woman committed the sin of believing that we can MAKE people fall in love with us. That woman really wanted to make a happy man happy, for heaven’s sake he dumped her to be happy how she could make him happy by getting him back.

I guess what woke me up wasn’t the bells reminding how stupid I was, but the bells reminding me that this is how we, women, are. Sometimes we are just too blinded to see the obvious things. Our emotions push us to believe that impossible is achievable, which might be true but not with men.

On her own, she was going to fail to get him back. But she was lucky enough to have a French consultant who laid some perfect plan that put Charlie back in bed with her. (Note to self: my romance counselor should be a man). As Kate danced with Charlie that night he said that she was her but yet nothing like her. She was shinning, and he said why it wasn’t he the one who made her shine. (More bells are ringing, I am almost deaf)
Later in bed, Kate faced Charlie that 12 hours ago all what he wanted was Juliet. He said that he was too scared to marry her; she replied that he wasn’t that scared marrying Juliet. She said that the next morning she will be the same old her. She is the one who wanted the home and the family. The one who would plant some roots and watch them grow. On that bed Kate discovered that what she really wanted wasn’t the man who made her cross an ocean and cry her heart out. He was the only thing she found while being lost. (Cliché!)

It wasn’t that bad spending those hours on the couch. I learnt that I wasn’t alone. And there are other stupid people committing my very same mistakes. I proved that men really know when you are shinning because of another man’s light even before you could know it. (But they have troubles admitting it depending on the situation) And one more time, a whole movie is based on my idea that everything happens for the best.
Isn’t life beautiful! I want to live in a movie *you know the expression*

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