March 13, 2008

Closures



If you are a “F.R.I.E.N.D.S” fan you will sure remember Rachel out on a date with that someone just right after Ross got back from China with a new girlfriend. She kept talking about Ross the whole evening and that was when her date told her she needs a closure to move on. Being drunk, she called Ross as a sort of closure. She left him a message on his machine that she was so much over him. Sure enough the result of that call wasn’t exactly a closure it was the start. As Ross never knew that Rachel was “Under Him” to get “Over Him” in a closure.
What Rachel’s date suggested that evening, keeping the over and under results of the phone call aside, is exactly what I believe in. I am a believer that relationships need a closure. It is normal to feel hurt after a break-up even if it was us who put an end to it. It is normal to feel angry. And it is normal to hate the person we once loved. There are people who even keep the love and hope after the break-up.
All these are painful. It is painful to remember, it is painful to hate and it is sure painful to keep a hope of love for an illusion. And this is when closures become a necessity.
A closure is point where you get to the indifference target. To hate isn’t the opposite of love as hate is still a feeling. The opposite of love is indifference. Closure is the point where there are no feelings left, neither bad nor good. It is the point when you discover why it wasn’t meant to be after all. It is when you see why it was never going to work eventually. It is when you know that the time to move on is now. It is when you know that the door was open and that there was no need to seek a new window after all.
Closures are not blames. You don’t get to a closure when you blame an ex for everything he/ she has done. Closures are not regrets. You don’t get to a closure with the long list of I shouldn’t have done so. Closures are in the little things just like love. Love is formed of the few little things. And those few little things are the seeds for indifference. Closures lie within.

When HH called me the other morning, I wasn’t that excited to answer. His words were still buzzing in my head from the last time he called. He wanted me to find love and get married. As he believed that he has ruined my life too much and it is about time for him to let me go find a decent man to accompany me in my journey. Yet he asked to be a part of that new life. The only thing he wanted me to do is to find a way to make him my second priority not my first (yes, I made him believe that he is my 1st priority!!). That morning, when he last called, as I was listening to his lame excuses for letting me go I remembered his hierarchy of priorities and I remembered a comment Brad made once on someone he calls “Spiderman.”
Spiderman was someone who tried hooking up with me. He was fun, flirty but that cup of tea was too strong for my taste. I wondered why Brad wasn’t worried about my little tangos with Mr. Spiderman. So Brad simply said, because that guy is clear. He just wants to jump into your pants. And I know you know how to keep him off.
I don’t really remember what did I say to HH that morning and sure I can never remember what he said. All what I can remember, that it felt so easy to keep him off me that morning because finally I have found my closure.
My closure was in my pants. Didn’t I tell you? It lies in those little things (wicked wink)

9 comments:

insomniac said...

yeah closures are important!

they help us realize that things are over and that we should be ok and accept that nothing further is to take place!!

but sometimes you can still feel hidden blame, you just don't dwell on it because you know it's pointless..

this is how i feel about my soon to be x... i don't hate him, and i stopped loving him long enough, but i hate the damage he caused, and i blame him for never letting me go the way one should... i am no longer interested in making him understand that, because i know he wouldn't and at this point, i've had my closure and i no longer care to make my point delivered or even hear him out!

yeah closure is a blessing! enjoy it dear :)

Sherif said...

Very bold .. and wierd too ..

Not all closures might be found in pants .. cause sometimes these sort of closures could be easily provided somewhere else ..

But real closures are there in very sentimental and decent things .. just to get us away from an eventual bad impression .. that I only know you because of this ..

Sometimes I feel a decent kiss is worth more than thousand times living below hem lines ..

Am I over romantic ? I don't believe that .. cause you yourself are so decent and charming too ..

Regards

Shimaa Gamal said...

Hello Insomniac
Closures are sure a blessing. I know how it feels when you get to the point where you realize that there is no point of making your point anymore.
Emotional wounds are just like other wounds. They take time to heal. But some wounds leave a scar. This scar always reminds us that we were once injured but also it reminds us that we had the power to get over that pain.
I really wish you luck, from deep of my heart. And believe me you will get to the point where you won’t even hate the damage. You will have all your closures. And you will live the life you decided. A happy life it will be ISA.
Thanks for passing by :)
Regards
Shimaa

Shimaa Gamal said...

Hello Sherif
I am a believer that a simple kiss is better than hours of anything else. As I said, closures lie in very simple things. It can be as simple as a word.
I am not sure if I made the right impression when I said that my closure was in my pants. But I meant that I had my closure when I found out that my HH was just like Spiderman. Someone who wants to jump into my pants, only then I got the closure and only then I knew why it wasn’t meant to be.
You are not over romantic. I just hope my generation has as much men as you.
Thank you for enriching my thought-less thoughts
My Best
Shimaa

امين سر said...

أنت
يا سارقة ياء النداء من حروفي
لماذا أنتِ مرتبكة ؟
نعم أعنيك أنت
ادعوك للإنضمام للفكرة
فانتِ وحدك .. تلك التي لم تأت
هذا طريق لم يكن يعرفه احد
و لا يعرف احد
طريق لم تعرفه اقدام المارة
و لم تدنسه من قبل عجلات سيارة فارهة وقودها من عرقك و دمي
تعالي معنا و املئي الدنيا بالضجيج
نظرة على اسرار اون لاين لن تضيرك
و مشاركتك تأكدي انها مصدر سعادة لنا
http://asraronline.com/vb/

Mohaly said...

It is important but it is really hard. the hardest was more than 3 years ago when it took me 6 weeks to have a closure.

Shimaa Gamal said...

Good morning Mohaly
It is really a great day for me as it started with your comment :)

Oh! 6 whole weeks :) It takes me years to get to closures. I envy you. But maybe I need longer to get to see the truth, I will blame it on those XX chromosomes.

It is yet important to get to a closure, an end point that leads to a new start.

Thanks for passing by :)
Your's
Shimaa

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

first of all, i like the shoes in the picture, style and color ... who u think in cairo can have such a style ... dont tell me charles and keith... i have been there lately ... maybe in the new arrival
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second
the closure
am glad u had one
and i am glad i had mine too

i love it when u said, that there is no need to open a new window of fake hope, true... when every sparkle of love and good feelings fade away, when nothing remain, when all colorful feelings turn to blank ... i know it is closure time

guess what... my closure was the same as yours... and funny enough i have added a new device to my brain system for future attempts to have a relationship.... pant alarm :D... beep when i see this look, or hear certain words... u know what i mean

i wonder are men turned to be pants maniacs ... or they r just too empty ... or they have huge unsatisfied appetite to women's flesh!!
------------------------

breakup is painful
but drowning in despair is even more painful
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kol sana we enty tayeba... gebto el 7alawa ????

Shimaa Gamal said...

Hello Dear
I didn’t notice the shoes ;) you know pink is my color that’s why something else grabbed my attention LOL
But I will make sure to drop you a line whenever I get across that style and you do the same. These shoes worth getting :)
Honey, men didn’t turn to be pant-maniacs because simply they have always been. Seems that the pants is the only choice :) they do anything and everything for this pants.
Lucky you, I wish I had the same device that buzzes whenever a pant-maniac is around. Or maybe I had one but it malfunctioned because of continuous buzzes.
It is all in the pants dear :) maybe we should get rid of them ;)