Closures

If you are a “F.R.I.E.N.D.S” fan you will sure remember Rachel out on a date with that someone just right after Ross got back from China with a new girlfriend. She kept talking about Ross the whole evening and that was when her date told her she needs a closure to move on. Being drunk, she called Ross as a sort of closure. She left him a message on his machine that she was so much over him. Sure enough the result of that call wasn’t exactly a closure it was the start. As Ross never knew that Rachel was “Under Him” to get “Over Him” in a closure.
What Rachel’s date suggested that evening, keeping the over and under results of the phone call aside, is exactly what I believe in. I am a believer that relationships need a closure. It is normal to feel hurt after a break-up even if it was us who put an end to it. It is normal to feel angry. And it is normal to hate the person we once loved. There are people who even keep the love and hope after the break-up.
All these are painful. It is painful to remember, it is painful to hate and it is sure painful to keep a hope of love for an illusion. And this is when closures become a necessity.
A closure is point where you get to the indifference target. To hate isn’t the opposite of love as hate is still a feeling. The opposite of love is indifference. Closure is the point where there are no feelings left, neither bad nor good. It is the point when you discover why it wasn’t meant to be after all. It is when you see why it was never going to work eventually. It is when you know that the time to move on is now. It is when you know that the door was open and that there was no need to seek a new window after all.
Closures are not blames. You don’t get to a closure when you blame an ex for everything he/ she has done. Closures are not regrets. You don’t get to a closure with the long list of I shouldn’t have done so. Closures are in the little things just like love. Love is formed of the few little things. And those few little things are the seeds for indifference. Closures lie within.

When HH called me the other morning, I wasn’t that excited to answer. His words were still buzzing in my head from the last time he called. He wanted me to find love and get married. As he believed that he has ruined my life too much and it is about time for him to let me go find a decent man to accompany me in my journey. Yet he asked to be a part of that new life. The only thing he wanted me to do is to find a way to make him my second priority not my first (yes, I made him believe that he is my 1st priority!!). That morning, when he last called, as I was listening to his lame excuses for letting me go I remembered his hierarchy of priorities and I remembered a comment Brad made once on someone he calls “Spiderman.”
Spiderman was someone who tried hooking up with me. He was fun, flirty but that cup of tea was too strong for my taste. I wondered why Brad wasn’t worried about my little tangos with Mr. Spiderman. So Brad simply said, because that guy is clear. He just wants to jump into your pants. And I know you know how to keep him off.
I don’t really remember what did I say to HH that morning and sure I can never remember what he said. All what I can remember, that it felt so easy to keep him off me that morning because finally I have found my closure.
My closure was in my pants. Didn’t I tell you? It lies in those little things (wicked wink)