June 01, 2007

Virginty vs. Honor

While discussing marriage, honor as perceived by the Egyptian community was posed into the discussion. These were my initial thoughts with regard to the topic.
For the whole discussion click here



Mona asked about el sharaf, and the first thing that crossed my mind was the famous phrase “sharaf el bent zay 3ood el kabreet, maywla3sh 3'ier mara wa7da bas”.
Actually this phrase was used in the mid 20th century, now in the dawn of the 21st century, sharaf el bent, in the way intended in the original phrase, is like el wala3a .. beywala3 we yewala3 .. to infinity ..

The community’s definition for virginity is, to keep the girl’s hymen intact till her wedding night, in the mid 20th century when the famous match stick metaphor was used, this very same community had a disrespectful way to prove that this thing is still intact, a midwife, will have the honor of de-flowering the bride, in front of her female relatives, and probably the groom, after she does, she will wave the piece of cloth she used to the male relatives, so they can celebrate the proof of sharaf bentohom.

I know that you are all over 18 yrs old, which is adult enough to explain to you this disrespectful process of proving that a girl is shareefa in the Egyptian dictionary.

So, if this white cloth for any reason didn’t get out red, it will turn red anyway, but this time by the bride’s father’s hands. He will deliberately kill his own daughter, because if the cloth is still white this will only mean that this girl isn’t shareefa in the Egyptian dictionary.

By the end of the very same 20th century and with the rise of mama Karima Mokhtar, and the whole birth control campaign to control the Egyptian baby boom. They started introducing new concepts about hymen to the Egyptian public, the scene of a gynecologist smiling to the cameras, explaining that there is always a probability for the hymen not to be broken in the wedding night, and this will never affect the virginity of the girl and consequently not all the white cloth means that the girl mesh shareefa ..

By the millennium, Egypt had to get into the new era, the internet became everywhere, satellite channels are mandatory in every home, and boys and girls are no longer enjoying the white cloth extravaganza. Boys and girls discovered that they can both enjoy each other, without touching the hymen.
For instance, oral sex; a man will always enjoy a blow, and he won’t be harming his sweet heart holly hymen.
Other kinds, of pleasure that will satisfy the man, and mostly the woman without having to engage in the forbidden zone, and even if it happened, we have almighty doctors who will simply do a procedure to get the girl back as good as new, so when she next time sleep with sab3 el bromba, who will be looking for a virgin, she will pretend virginity, and her holly hymen will be intact.

So, as the definition of 3ood el kabreet can’t fit into today’s world, I have another logic to see virginity, and my way to see virginity goes both ways, for males and females.
I have to mention first that in the modern world, where they teach sex at school and equip young girls with condoms instead of morals. They define a virgin as the person who never engaged in penetrative sex which means that those who engage in any other form of sex are virgins regardless the act.
So, the virgin in my point of view is the person who never been introduced to the sex world. Virginity isn’t related to the body, it is related to the soul. So the virgin is the person who never craved sex, never sake sex, who never gazed on an eye with that crave, who never had the long handshakes to feel the warmth of the other, who never had those casual touches. We are born virgins, but we lose our virginity to time.

I want to state one point clear, I believe that each and everyone has the right to do what he wants to do, having sex without marriage isn’t something that dishonor a person, how and why he is having this sex is what really matters, Keeping the religion values aside, and traditions neutral.

So, it is a huge mistake to refer to virginity as honor, or to refer to virginity as a girl thing, and those who say but the girl has a seal that proves whether she is a virgin or not, can’t be any more wrong, a virgin man will act virgin, and a virgin girl will act virgin regardless the holly seal.


P.S.
I can't write, I can't think ...

1 comment:

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

"Having sex without marriage isn’t something that dishonor a person, how and why he is having this sex is what really matters"

Sometimes I wonder!! Is having sex with the man u love the most, and he is your one and only … is a …sin!? Is it the same as having sex for money, for fun, or for no reason but desire satisfaction like animals…?

What is the definition of a sin!! is sex for love, is like sex for sex !!! What's wrong with the word sex anyway… why it is a taboo… thought every creature on this planet is thinking of it, tasting it, smelling it, and wishing it… it is the forbidden fruit of all ages.

What is virginity!! Is it purity of soul and mind … purity of spirit… or just a peace of flesh that can be hidden and recovered by fatwa…?

You know what … I can't think… I can't write :)