June 20, 2007

The Pull Away!!

I never claimed that I can understand men, I try, I fail and I repeat may be one day I will get lucky and get to understand men. Each time I fail I take a note.
Men are selfish, was the first note I took and up to that moment I didn’t meet a man who isn’t. Men need caves, thanks to John Gray’s famous book, now I know how a man cherishes his personal space. Men need to be appreciated, so the rule is to accept your man’s defects then admire his strengths to make him feel appreciated.
Long list of notes about the creatures called men. And I couldn’t find a way to understand the need for a man to pull away. I couldn’t adapt to that pulling away tendency. I can’t understand the reasons that make a man pull away in the critical time. Actually I should admit here that most of my traumatic experiences with men happened in the phase where the man pulled away.
The common scenario is me trusting a man then I start feeling that something has changed. And regardless my reaction it always ended badly. When I feel him pulling away I am usually left with one of two options, the first is to panic and start nagging about how and why he is pulling away and the result is usually the man escaping for his life from the crazy creature stalking him. The second option is to play cool and do nothing and it usually ends by the man losing interest in the woman who didn’t even bother to wonder why he pulled away.
Why men pull away? I can’t find an answer.

I thought of giving the men’s empire one last chance, but I think I won’t. I won’t be walking down that aisle again. I won’t go through the whole set of pain again. I need no fun that originates because of a man. I will keep the talks to the pillow, the tears in my eyes, and the rock right inside in the place of the heart.
I had enough notes and I need no more selfishness, I need to spare myself accepting flaws and admiring strengths, I need no more forged elevated egos, I can’t take another pull away, I won’t be waiting by a cave. I am not ready to show the ugly needy face of me, the creature that needs the warm talks, the long walks, the soft touches. I can’t take showing need and being abandoned. Why trade the happy single status with a puzzled in love status!!

If only I can understand men :(

Credits for the picture go to Hassan Aliyu


Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

how to understand men!
the answer is too simple and too clear to see... just one word dear ... CHANGE

if you can understand the meaning of change... so you can easily understand any man...

alas love blind us from seeing the truth... and turn us into devoted creature with one life rhythm ... which will be appreciated for a while, but then they get bored and leave

change ... is the soul of life...

i like this part:"Why trade the happy single status with a puzzled in love status!!"

yeh why... is it the urgent need for the other's warmth ... need for human interaction of a certain level... need for this magical touch of love!!!

i wish i know myself ... but for the time being i enjoy this status ... being single... being free ... i know i will be bored i a month of two ... i know i will think of my ex, or dream upon the stars for another hero ... but for the time being .. lets enjoy what we have

Anonymous said...

the picture was heart wrenching..
mine pulled away after one year..
in so much pain and confused..
i won't wait by a cave either...
thank you for your words..
i loved them...

Anonymous said...

AMEN! After 2 years of being blissfully single I accidentally fell into the trap. Now I remember why I took that vow of spinsterdom.