In the game of domination and submission the submissive part is the one who is really in control. The whole ambiance of domination is created in order for the submissive to fulfill a missing need. The submissive holds the off button that gets the world back to its normal course. All what he/she has to do is to say stop.
The problem with domination is that the dominant person will get to believe that he is really in control. That he is the lord who sets the rules while the truth is, in the game of domination and submission. It is the submissive part who sets the rule. It is the submissive part who really dominates the game. It is the submissive part who voluntarily gives up his domination in the real world to play a game where someone else has to make the choice. And it is the dominant part that hopefully gets into the game on the hope it might turn to be real and he can finally be the master of his own choices.
8 comments:
Dearest Sugarpot,
The exciting variety of your blog articles never seems to cease stunning me. From personal love affairs to solid root religious philosophies and then on to everyday simple life issues that blossom to sophisticated parallel-world models and gobsmacking resemblences of unexpected paths. This only indicates that you don't just stand there in your kitchen stirring soup, or baking cookies for the men of your home, you actually go through an everyday routine of blending up ideas on your mind, and curiously adding bits and pieces up together to form simple thought or conclusion that non of us has ever thought of before, henceforth, I would like to rephrase my earlier judgement and say the Sarah-Jessica Parker's character is actually inspired by a real life mastermind of human nature and life; Shimaa Gamal.
So back to your article, I reckon there's a handful of dom/sub relationships; boss/employee, girlfriend/boyfriend, captains/soldiers, sexual, parent/child. Which one of those relationships did you have on mind exactly whilst typing this article?
This is what I call a good morning; I woke up to such nice words from such a nice person. As always I am speechless. And one more time I changed my address to be cloud nine thanks to you.
Actually, I had many relationships in mind while thinking of this submission game. To tell you the truth I was thinking about the eternal question, to depend or not to depend. Do humans really need to depend on someone else? A quick review of people around me and I discovered that we all depend on something/someone whether we do it consciously or unconsciously. Even those who believe they are completely independent do depend on little things, they d it without even being aware of that.
I found out that in a relation, I would always like to be the submissive part. I never got fascinated by dominating anything. But another thorough look showed me it was just a game. I have always ended up in control. I have always had things at my finger tips.
Boss/ employee relation, girlfriend/ boyfriend relation and sexual relations/ fantasies had all led me to believe that the really dominant part in a relation is the part who voluntarily submits. Only the person who can hold the remote is in control of any relation, as he is the only one who can press play or decide when to press stop.
Honey, really I don’t know how to thank you for another perfect morning. You really make my days. I miss you so much.
Interesting,
even though it's not an area of expertise, I think and correct me if I'm wrong, everybody is submissive to their desires even those who like to role play the master of masters, they are submitting to the desire of what they lack in real life so they have to role play it with the one who loves them and can accommodate their desperate needs to feel themselves.
I think dominance have no place in sound relationships, containment may be the way, I don't see the normalcy specially in husband wife relationship if it is based on master and slave order, it is much sweeter if it is mutual containment of one another. just a thought..!!
Hello Mahmood
Really interesting point of view. I never thought of it as submitting to a certain desire. It might be right.
As I mentioned before the idea of submission was a collateral for the idea of dependancy. We all depend in a way and we all submit in a way. But the truth is when we submit it is only when we are really in control.
As for a marraige as a relation, role playing might be an interesting game. In my opinion it is a game that signifies who is really in control. The one who will end up dominating the game is the one who is really being dominated outside it.
As far it is just a game, it won't cause any hurt. There will always be a password to stop. There will always be an off button in the hand of the submissive.
As for containment, it might be an acceptable term by some people but for me it is a term that replaces domination. It implies that a part is being contained. In my opinion a healthy relation is the relation where the couple maintains their characters and their lives. They are two different identities who got involved in a relation. They are equal. But if at any point someone was in control under any term this, in my opinion, is a defeciency.
Yet, still a nice point of view :) Thanks for sharing, you inspired me :)
To depend or not..
To submit or not..
the weak enjoy their freedom
and the strong in control, is the chained
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i like it when those in control wake up from their domination dream... and realize that the subsmisive one is bored and fed up... and decided to show their real face
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i play the submissive sometimes... but my wild strong nature refuse to remain like this for a long time..
most women enjoy it ... and men know it ... and even admit it, and ask women to use their natural intelligence and lethal weapon "feminin submission" to reach their targets
mein beyed7ak 3ala mein!!
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mahmoud's view is very interesting... when i look deep down inside ... i see it true ... too true to swallow... my inner self is playing the submision trick on me
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miss reading you ... sorry i am away ... life you know
be well we edafy kewayes :)
My Dearest Egyptiana
meen beyd7ak 3ala meen?
I believe, in that game of domination and submission, both parties deceive themselves. They are not deceiving each other. They are deceiving their own perception. Those who submit willingly give up their power to enjoy a few minutes of letting go with the flow. Those who dominate seize a life time opportunity of control. The one who submits has deceived himself/ herself by believing that this submission means that someone else is in control. And the one who dominates had deceived himself/ herself by believing that he in really in control.
Meen beyd7ak 3ala meen? Bend7ak 3ala nafsena, we bend7ak 3ala ba3d … allah yer7amo Youssef bieh lama 2al wa ma el donia ella masra7on kabeer.
Welcome back my dear, it turned to be a cold winter, I am resisting the urge to hibernate
Love
Shimaa
Nice theory.
Speaking as a man, we like to dominate.
the key word is playing,,,not all play in the D/s lifestyle....some go deeper and its who they are...
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