It was spring. Spring isn’t my favorite season. It is the season of dust and hint of hot summer.
It wasn’t meant to be but a virtual “thoughts only” relationship, but then it happened.
I remember that day when I said that he makes me laugh.
I remember a day when something he wrote got engraved in my mind.
I remember when I decided to break the ice and indirectly asked him whether or not he was married.
I remember how one day he asked me out.
I remember how he came on so strong, it was borderline intimidating.
I remember him pulling away, and I remember how I started panicking.
I remember our first date.
I remember how excited I felt. I remember telling Sameh about the excitement and fear.
I remember how I felt after that date.
I remember how I said it was the happiest day in my life. My heart was about to explode.
I remember how he pulled away later.
I remember what I told him.
I remember how he got back.
I remember the 1st time he kissed me.
I remember how he walked away again
I remember the tears, the heavy days.
I remember how he got back again.
I remember how he said that he didn’t leave me. That he was there but life sometimes is heavy.
I remember his promise that he will never leave.
I remember the last time we met, and how it felt like it is something that we might be doing for the rest of our lives.
I remember how it felt watching him pulling away. And how it felt trying to pretend it was ok.
I remember trying to give him the talk but holding back
I remember when I finally grew some balls and asked him.
I remember his answer … we can’t be but friends, this is the only way for it to work.
I remember the texts he ignored, the emails he never read, and the calls he never returned.
I just don’t remember when did I fall in love with him.