If my mom would have ever had last words to tell me, they would have been “Shimaa stop being arrogant”. She had always warned me of my arrogance.
But I wasn’t that arrogant to ignore the warnings. I have always tried not to be arrogant. I hide lots of my “confidence” and lots of my “views of things”. I try my best to keep my “arrogance” at bay.
The other night as I was reflecting on my last heartbreak I realized that one of the reasons I get my heart broken is that I don’t know why they leave me. Why would a man leave the “every man’s dream” kind of girl?
And that was when it hit me, I have always thought of myself as every man’s dream while in fact I am nothing but every man’s nightmare.
I have always said that, I am sexy, smart, well educated, loyal, and kind hearted. I am everything a man would ever dream of having in one person. And I have always been surprised that they all fled this for what I believe are “lesser” women.
This is how deep my arrogance is, and how much I am an “every man’s nightmare” type of girl.
I am arrogant. I think highly of myself. I am self centered in ways that you can never imagine. I am sexy but that also comes with deeply rooted desires that never fade. I am always in mood for “intimacy” and if my man isn’t in the mood, I will start nagging.
Yes I am a nag. I nag whenever I feel disappointed about anything. And I am always disappointed about something because I am controlling!
I have deeply rooted control issues that nothing in this world could fix, they are even contradicting with my “faith”.
I am well educated but I am highly opinionated too.
I don’t have a clear plan in my life, it is scary. Even my own dad is scared of how unclear my future is.
You can never tell how far I can be dependent or independent. It is scary too.
I never take no as answer, even if I know that no is the right answer. No is just how you get my challenge hormones work.
I fall in love deeply, that means you get to experience the crazy side, the stalker side, the obsessed side, the super jealous side and God only knows what other sides you will have to deal with.
I am reckless in ways that you can never expect.
I compare men, and I have known enough to start punishing new men in my life for things they didn't do.
I am nothing but a walking nightmare.
No wonder they all come on strong, then flee as soon as they can.