September 21, 2013

Status Report

I feel exhausted.

I feel trapped.

I am always feeling the same way.

I feel I am too old for this. I am going on 35, I must be feeling different, I should be having different worries.

I need to get past my feelings, my nagging needs and my hopes & dreams.

I need to kill that little girl hungry for life. 

I need to understand that there are things that are not going to happen.

I feel exhausted .. 

I also realized that not only that I was never the "sweep them of their feet" type but also I was never the "grow on them by time" type.

They all left ... They will all leave.

I am never missed .. 

I am trapped in my feelings ... I am cornered in my needs.

I am so exhausted.


Anonymous said...

You will always be missed by someone. Especially by those who hurt you.

Shimaa Gamal said...

You think so?

I strongly doubt

Anonymous said...

I don't think so, I know so. I am one of them.

Shimaa Gamal said...

I am speechless

But you know, it is unfair if you are just playing me.

And if you are one of them, it will be nice if you signed the comments, even with initials.

Anonymous said...


And no, of course I am not playing with you.

I am sure you already know who I am (your intelligence never fails).

But here is my singnature,
Islam B

Shimaa Gamal said...

My intelligence never fails me ...

I hope life is treating you well, Iz

Anonymous said...

Life goes on...

So does guilt and shame, one's past and sins go hand in hand with time, don't they?

Feel free to change the word "Brad" to "Bastard", by the way.

I know you not only want to say it, but you want to scream it.

I deserve it. :)

Shimaa Gamal said...

Not really Iz

You did what everyone else did :)

You know, my intelligence every once in a while fail me :)

but life goes on as u said :)


Anonymous said...

2. Boy and a girl.

Shimaa Gamal said...

ربنا يخلي :)

Anonymous said...


Listen, I don't want to cause you any discomfort. I just figured out that it is unfair that I have been enjoying your blog so much for so long and not even give you credit for it.

Not one single article has been missed, a handful of them even commented on. Two or three I guess over the years.

I have truly enjoyed it, and admired several things in it, especially your writing style - that can clearly be seen evolving steadily.

Though not as frequent as before, but much deeper and more sophisticated with a fine touch of simplicity that only but beautifully compliments the depth. So in short, yes; it is the well established mind that is behind the writing. Let's call things by their real names.

Shimaa Gamal said...

You are not causing any discomfort, it is just a wave of memories.
you know how my mind works :)

and you still didn't lose the poet touch Iz.

I am deeply flattered.

Thanks my dear :)

Keep visiting, and keep commenting :)

It is always nice to read you.

Anonymous said...

I shall send you a copy of the book I'm writing. It might take another 6 months or so to publish. Please do not panic if the book arrives without official mail to your door step. It's only me.

I the meantime, I will not stop reading your blog. It has become a habit, a good one for a change. And you know how hard it is to break an old habit. :)

Shimaa Gamal said...

I will be waiting for the book :)

and it is always flattering to know that you are still reading :)

It was really nice talking to you Iz.

Keep doing it :)

Anonymous said...

Likewise, S :)

Stay safe and look after yourself.


L.G. said...

إنهم يرحلون لأنهم ضعفاء وجبناء وانانيون
لذا يرحلون فلا تنظري للوراء ف ببساطة هم لا يستحقون
بقية الرد سارسله لك عبر رسالة خاصة

Shimaa Gamal said...

رسالتك الخاصة تستحق النشر في كل مكان علشان كل الناس تعرف انها مش لوحدها

هم لا يستحقون فعلا .. بس إحنا لا نستحق النماذج اللي بنقابلها دي .