I will try and translate if I can:You want to take risks(and/or escape), but you feel the road is too long and things are going in a very slow pace. You feel imprisoned, maybe in your own mind and there's a faint light that you can feel present, but maybe you're not sure. you feel broken(or maybe not all of you, but emotionally) and that things keep piling up on you and at the end all you can do is write.
Well, though I wasn't planning to write down what I have in mind. But your trial was so close, so here is what I really meant.The cards are my options. The opportunities I am currently holding and the different ways they are expected to lead.I don't like them, I don't like my cards and to get new ones it is a catch 22 dilema. It is just a no-win sitiuation. That's why the road seems endless while in fact it is a dead end. I am imprisoned. I am a prisoner of many things not only my thoughts. I am a prisoner of life and I am tired trying yet I can't stop trying to reach out of this prison.I am broken in so many ways and I am way beyond fixing unless mircales are an option.I can barely breathe under the heaviness of my thoughts.And for all the aforementioned reasons, I can't write.I am having one of my worst/ best nights in years. I am happy because my cousin is coming in less than a week isa, and I am sad because I think I just lost my best friend to jealousy. See, always catch 22.Thanks honey for trying to figure it out
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