March 05, 2007

In Right & Wrong

Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all!! - G. K. Chesterton

I once wrote, describing my paradise that I call Neverland, that it is the place, where right people, comes in the right time, to say/do the right things.The idea kept buzzing in my head as I was analyzing different situations around me, of people who are stuck in between right and wrong as absolute measures. Someone who has been waiting for someone to act in a certain way, that someone is his/her right person and the expected way is his/her right way.But real life situations away from the expectations, this right person never goes the right way. Instead someone else do what you have been longing for. Gives you the unexpected care you needed in a harsh time, smiles when no one else do, listens when the world in full of deaf ears, understands when the whole population turn to be dummy, and accept you when you have a sign reads "rejected" on your forehead. At that time you will be left hanging between definitions of what you think is right and what you thought is wrong struggling against absolute measures of valuing persons/things.
Although they are naturally relative, right and wrong are always being used in an absolute way. Things we want are always absolutely the right things while things we hate or may be just our unwanted things are absolutely wrong. We only apply the relative approach of right and wrong when dealing with others needs, in away where every one of us will defend his right things to be his relatively right only if someone else viewed them as the wrong things. In that case, the first and best defense will always be the relativity of the measure as what's good for you isn't necessarily good for me and vice versa.
Accepting that the being right or wrong is always a relative issue, with no absolute mark to compare will gradually result in more acceptance of what we think are the wrong persons, and more rejection for those we believed the right ones.A wrong person was never absolutely wrong, he is just someone outside our scanning range, or maybe someone who doesn't meet our fulfillment list. Someone who might be far from our expectations, someone we never foresaw a next step with him or towards him. He was wrong because in a relation with expectations, this person lacked something that we couldn't ignore. While a right person was absolutely right because he lacked everything but got the only one thing we expected or wanted to be right.
The right way, is what we think absolutely right for us in relation to a specific time.So speaking in absolute terms, we will be in bliss, if the right person did the right thing, in the right time, and in absolute terms too, any deviation in the above requirements will lead to distress, which is absolutely wrong.
But applying relativity to the subject will lead more to a dilemma, a confusion of pleasure and sadness. A hurt caused by the right person who never acted the right way, a joy caused by the right thing done by the wrong person. And a list of questions; does what makes things or persons right or wrong is the timing. Is there only a right time, and nothing called a right person, or a right way? Or should it always be a combination of all three, or is it always a compromise of only two factors? Is it enough to have the right person doing the right thing in the wrong time, or the wrong person doing the right thing in the right time, or the right person in the right time doing the wrong thing? Is the term relative is really relative or it is just an absolute term? Can having only one factor be satisfying? This list of questions leaves us no where, leads us straight to the point where we started, where expectations go east while reality goes west, with no way to get them in a common way except at the starting point. And we keep repeating and moving in circles, leading to nowhere but the same place we stand. Where we absolutely believe that somewhere out there is the right person waiting for us to do the right thing in the right time.
That's why I called it Neverland!!

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