July 17, 2014


Remember M?
The guy who followed HH and was right before Brad?
No he isn't back. I was just thinking that I might have broken his hreat in a way.

Well I didn't yet the last thing he ever said to me was " Shimaa you never loved me and you never loved anyone but yourself"

That was after I decided to ignore his call and take Brad's call.
I told him it was simple before that day he was my number one. But left me. His wedding was few days away. And he clearly stated that he can't be mine.

So Brad was a rebound, maybe not, but he was a decent chance at a decent relationship. Why would i turn it down?

And that wasn't few days after M breaking up with me. It was almost a year after. A year full of drama. A year where he did his best to hurt me.
Yet he had the guts to call me selfish!
Because I was attempting to mirror his behavior.
I just pushed him back in my priority list. I wasn't his number one, he didn't want me to emotionally depend on him ... etc.
So why so angry when I did what he wanted me to do?

I think he never thought i'd be able to move on. I loved him dearly. I did everything just to get back together. When we did he was surprised that though I still loved him yet that love was different.
My love was sore!
He couldn't get it as much as he couldn't get the fact that I have chosen to love him and be with him from a line of men.

He, for some reason, couldn't see any men in my future.
Well, I am still unmarried, all my men lovers and friends were sure I am not going to get married but that never meant I will never have other men. I still have men! I think I will always do.

Anyway, M wasn't the only man who couldn't get that I am always having someone in line waiting for me to say yes.

Maybe I was never a marraige material which made my men so sure that I will never be taken and it will always be safe to dump me.
A man can dump me then come back later and enjoy the ex's priviledge.

I kinda of lost point here ...

My love was sore and he called me selfish.

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