January 07, 2009

Alexandria … Again



I don’t know if I have become too lazy or time has become so tight. I feel that my days are shorter, my nights aren’t enough and I am always running late for something. I don’t even have time to communicate with the world. I miss my friends and family because I can’t manage to spare a couple of hours to chat, email or talk.

But some how I managed to spare a day. Actually I didn’t spare it; I just did what I am best at doing. I pressed the pause button of my life and put everything on hold to go pay an old friend a visit in my new favorite city, Alexandria.

It was completely worth it. Catching up with an old friend worth more than pausing a day. A good company on the road is everything a one can ask for. The few minutes we took figuring our way in a strange city was worth it. And the few minutes I stood facing the calm sea, and maintain a conversation that I can’t remember any of it was worth it.

The view was majestic. The wide open sea and the cold winter breeze, sometimes I really hope my eyes are a camera so that I can let people enjoy things the way I see them. and as I was enjoying the combination of company and place I spotted a small fishing boat in that large sea and I couldn’t fight the temptation to remark that I would really love to be in that boat.

My friend commented that sea in such a small boat will be scary. And the coward me replied that sea is scary regardless how big the boat is. Then the conversation found its way to other things but my mind didn’t. It just stopped there in that boat in the middle of that sea.

The thought didn’t seem scary, probably because it was hypothetical. But this hypothesis opened a small window for me to wonder. What if I was to get into such a boat, who I would take with me? To my surprise I couldn’t really think of someone. I was puzzled whom to choose. I can’t swim; at least I don’t think I can do in open sea. So will it be wise to take someone who can? What if in the time of need this someone decided not to save me? Will it be wiser to take someone reliable, who won’t at least leave me die alone? Should I take someone who knows the sea? Is an experienced company is the safest company?

Some how that boat managed to carry my thoughts to a sea that’s bigger than the Mediterranean. What if my feelings about that boat are just a mere reflection to my feelings towards life? That boat is me and my life and the big sea is the big world around me. I know I want to get into that boat but something inside is telling me that I don’t want to be alone. Not because I am not brave enough to face the sea but I believe it will always be wise to face the unknown in company. But yet again, who said I was ever wise?

6 comments:

Noly said...

Shi ya Shi:

I really liked very much the way you described yourself and your life.
I do agree with you too concering the company. asln no body wants to be lonely.
bas the point is ( it's not what you want, it's what you are in already) ya3ny ana masln I like very much having any one close to me to share every thing together and to feel safe with. but you can't find those company all the time or at least the time you need them wa2tha. so you have to cope with what you have currently and to be ready for anything alone by yourself and believe me sometimes we face it a7sn mn law m3ana 7ad.
I used to think that I can't alot of things by alone by myself but afterwards lma et7atet fy mawkef eny lazm a3ml el haga dy alone I did it perfectly yemkn a7sn mn law kan m3aya 7ad.

If I were you in this boat and I have to pick someone to be with me, I will take the one who I really love to be with him/her. the one who I feel with that I'm truly happy msh hatefr2 m3aya ba2a eza kan by3rf yo3om wla la2. law hta hamot msh moshkla el mohm eny fe3lan etbasat even for a short time.

ana katabt keter a2wy :$ m3lsh ya Shi ya sadekty asly raghaya :D

Shimaa Gamal said...

Noly ya Noly
1st, I really love long comments :) You are not as talkative as I am, so please whenever you comment be LONG :)

2nd
I think the words failed me and I didn't really describe what I had in mind. It is not that I am waiting for someone to jump in with me to start a journey. Or that my life is on hold waiting for that Godot.
It is that I really wonder, if I believe that it is wise to face the unknown in company. Why am I still facing it alone till now?
I had many chances to have someone on board, but I always wondered if that person will be the right company. There is always something missing or maybe I am always confused.
I am not putting my life on hold waiting for the company. But I think I will have to remind myself in every way that I have an empty seat.
An empty seat for a partner not a captain. I am the captain of that boat.

See, another really interesting reason for being alone in a scary open sea against all the wisdom of the world

My comment is longer :) I win the prize of the most talkative Egyptian Female :)))))

LiL^OrioN said...

funnily enough, i'd rather be alone on that boat, how morbid it may be. but, being practical, i'd take my whole family with me.

if no one can swim, never mind. let's dies together as family. hahahaha!! *how morbid* -.-"

Shimaa Gamal said...

Hey Haz
I agree, taking the whole family will always be the wiset thing :)
At least we will die as a big happy family :))))))

nourita said...

waw!

If i knew that you will go to alex i would have travelled with you :(

Shimaa Gamal said...

Hello Nora
I wish you were there too. It was one day before you came to Egypt. And it was a really nice day.
ISA next time we should arrange a day in Alex. :) and this way I will grant that I will meet you at least twice ;)

Meeting you is the highlight of 2009 so far ;)