August 01, 2016

Loss - 4

Did I ever take my father for granted?

I don't know. I will never know because he isn't there to answer the question. Actually this is a question that I was never ever going to ask him.

I used to ask him other types of questions. My Dady "was" a knowledgeable person, so even in the age of google I would simply ask him about stuff. Random stuff, I would ask dady 1st then ask google.

I asked him about almost everything in this life.

One of the many things that scares me now is that I will always have to find the answers myself. I will always have to be sure I got the answers right because Dady isn't here anymore to validate me.

Which leads to another "important" conclusion. I think I never needed validation from people because I had Dady's validation. People always saw me as strong and confident, now I strongly believe they saw me this way because I always acted in the light that there is a strong safety net that will catch me if I ever really fall.

Did I ever took my father for granted?

Off course I did! And he was totally happy I did.

I think the father/ child relationship is the only relationship that function on the taking the other party for granted. It is the safety of having someone stuck with you no matter what you do to them.

A safety that no one will ever be able to match.


Solo Kareem said...

your heading was too enough to make us see what you're trying to share !
but you should keep your strength and believe that your "strong safety net" will always be there for you.
and as you said also "you never needed validation from people because you had Dady's validation", then look at it from his side! you will never need it because you already have it and there's nothing can change this as a fact.
my dear friend, nothing can compensate your loss but also we all know that life is all about how to adapt. keep strong and keep to be his dream about you, almost for sure he will be happy for you if you did.

and sorry if my words elongated, or missed it's purpose.

Shimaa Gamal said...

Thanks Kareem for ur support