September 22, 2015

The Boyfriend Hunt

It was 2005 or maybe 2006 when I decided to be proactive and ask my friends to help me land a decent man. I was desperate and devastated. Before that date I never really had a serious steady relationship, all what I had were men chasing me and two semi "real" relationships.
So I wrote a long "Ad" with the title "Hiring". I listed facts about myself, and the traits I am looking for in a man. I also designated a part to explain why I am in need of such a man. I wrote "I needed a full time friend and I explained how lonely I get and how exhausting it is to live in a world full of men wanting to jump into a girl's pants.
My friends' reactions were disappointing. None of them took me seriously, at least no one I know of, few girls replied that they wish they can write something similar and one replied that she wants in because she is looking for the same thing.
As for the male friends, most of them ignored the message totally and those who replied asked me to stop being silly because I don't need to ask for it, it will happen when it is meant to be. Only one said that he dare not set me up with any of his friends because he fears the consequences on our friendship had the relationship with the guy he chooses fails.

10 years later, I am still at the same point. I am still looking for a decent man and I am still hoping for a serious steady relationship. Up to this moment, none of the men I call Ex are really Ex's. I never had a relationship with any of them. The maximum I had with any of them was a period of intense feelings from my side, a date or two and then he walks away. So, I am old enough to admit that I never had a boyfriend. I never had a real relationship.

I am 36 yrs old and I am looking for a decent man to be my full time friend. Someone to take me the way I am, to love me as much as he can and to stay past the 1st argument and calls after the 1st date.

I don't think I am that appalling and there must be someone out there who shares the same thinking.

I want a relationship, I have been wanting a relationship for the last 10 years. I must be doing something wrong because I am still at the same point. I still get my heart broken because the men I like never like me back, I still get friendzoned, I still get defeated by other women. I am still lonely. And loneliness crushes my heart so hard sometimes.

I am sick of having friends who just tag along in wanting to post an Ad like the beautiful one I wrote.

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