But ... He is just not that into you!

I am reading "He is just not that into you". And the book is hilarious but painful because the joke though so funny but it is on me. I have been sharing quotes and I will be sharing more quotes. But there is a certain quote that I’d rather share again here along the comment I got from one of my friends. Then I have a little comment on that comment. This could be added to what I have written here before.

The quote was:

I don’t want to ruin the friendship” excuse is a racket. It works so well because it seems so wise. Sex could mess up a friendship. Unfortunately, in the entire history of mankind, that excuse has never ever been used by someone who actually means it. If we’re really excited about someone, we can’t stop ourselves—we want more. If we’re friends with someone and attracted to them, we’re going to want to take it further. And please, don’t tell me he’s just “scared.” The only thing he’s scared of—and I say this with a lot of love—is how not attracted to you he is!

– He is just not that into you

My friend commented:

Stop reading this boookkkk :) :)

Well women should really see the positive side.

1) The guy lied to her to not make her feel bad so he cares

2) God saved her from getting into a forced relation

3) She got to keep the guy around and hunt for another one.

And because I am still under the influence of the book and the idea that led me to write the inevitable post I can’t see anything positive in that.

1- Because when the guy uses the “I don’t want to ruin the friendship” card he cares but not really about the girl. He cares more about his loss of her company. Guys get lonely too, and girl friends are good cushion till they find the girl of their dreams. Girl friends are as good as girlfriends but with no sex unless off course the guy managed to talk her into friends with benefits. And this is a completely different story. The point is, he cares but not only for the girl. He cares for himself more.

2- There is nothing like a forced relationship. Off course the friend who would care too much about the feelings of his poor girl friend might give in to her pressure. Which is rare, no man would give in to pressure to be in a relationship but let’s play along. Let’s assume he will be drunk, sedated or desperate and will give her a chance. He is still won’t be into her and he will still get out of that relationship. It won’t happen until he wants it.

3- Getting to keep the guy around isn’t really a positive thing. It is emotionally draining. It could work for a man, because that’s what men do. But it won’t work for a girl because she won’t be able to hunt for a new guy as long as she wants that guy. Her hunt is over. Unlike men who keep hunting for preys by instinct whether or not they are in a relationship.

The thing that most men forget is that women take time to decide. Unlike men who decide from the 1^st 10 minutes in a date whether or not they want a relationship with that person. It takes women a while to decide. Unless the guy is so off, a woman needs a couple of dates to decide and even after that she will keep asking around her girl friends whether or not the guy ticked enough items on the good guy list. It will take a woman a significant amount of time to know that it is ok to be with a certain guy. It takes a woman, with history, a significant amount of time to take down the guards and trust.

That’s why the whole falling for friends thing. Because the woman has enough time to test, re-test and see things with the guy. They probably have lots in common that’s why they became friends in the 1^st place. Unlike the guys women usually fall for who are completely appalling. And friends are safe to be around, that sense of safety contributes to the falling to the friend syndrome.

But then comes the challenge, should a woman stick to the friend after he plays the relationship would ruin our friendship card or should she simply cut him off.

This is the real question that most women face at a certain moment of their life. Should she play along and see the positive side my friend listed in his comment or should she walk away. Because the truth is, she lost the friend anyway.

Didn’t I tell you before, it is Inevitable!

Abracadabra

So each of us is like a magician, with a bag of tricks. You meet a person and you start pulling one trick after the other, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. But once in a while you meet one person and all your tricks fail.

And you are left with the question will your tricks ever work on anyone again.

Once in a while you meet the one person who shakes your belief in your own magic. And you find yourself holding back from doing the one thing you know how to do because you are not sure it will ever work again.

Just a thought

I have been failed a lot by many people in my life.

Some intentionally failed me, and some didn't really mean it.


I wonder who I might be failing now ...