Inspired by the Facebook Quiz Mania :)

Shimaa Gamal took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! ""Wishes to live in a calm, peaceful, relaxing envi..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Shimaa Gamal's Existing Situation

Needs excitement and constant stimulation. Willingly participates in activities that are thrilling and offer adventure.

Shimaa Gamal's Stress Sources

"His stubbornness and will-power has become weakened due to current difficulties. Feels overworked and emotionally drain; as if all her work is for nothing and she is getting nowhere. The situation is very real to her and she wants to escape, but has no idea how to do so or how to even approach the situation rationally."

Shimaa Gamal's Restrained Characteristics

"Demanding and picky in her relationships, but careful not to bring out conflict or disagreements and this may decrease her chances of achieving her goals and ideas."

Is bothered when her needs and desires are misunderstood and she feels there is no one to turn to or rely on. her self-centered attitude can cause her to be easily offended.

"Willing to become emotionally involved, but is demanding and picky when choosing a partner. Is careful not to bring out conflict or disagreements as this may decrease her chances of achieving her goals and ideas."

Current events have her feeling forced to make bargains and put aside her own desires for now. she is able to find satisfaction and happiness through sexual activity.

Current events have her feeling forced to make bargains and put aside her own desires for now. she is able to find satisfaction and happiness through sexual activity.

Shimaa Gamal's Desired Objective

"Wishes to live in a calm, peaceful, relaxing environment, where everyone gets along and there is a strong sense of belonging."

Shimaa Gamal's Actual Problem

"Tension and stress is brought on by trying to cope with conditions which are out of her control, using up all her strength and leaving her feeling inadequate. she wishes to escape into a more peaceful and problem-free environment, in which she will no longer have to assert herself or deal with so much pressure."

To Relieve Some ANGER

You know what hurt, that this is really now my only window to talk. It hurt because it seems that the only way I can let go off feelings is to write them down and publish them on a public blog on a hope that someone will read and understand.
It hurt to be trapped in self pity over a silly thing. It hurt to cry none stop and try to hide your face from your family because if they saw you crying they will just scream at you for being silly.

Actually what hurt is to feel hurt while knowing you are silly and still can’t help it.
It hurt to feel like a freak and still can’t find that kind hearted person who would see the good heart of the beast.
It hurt when people show understanding in the time they don’t really understand. And it hurt when you are a talkative person who can’t form a meaningful phrase to tell what you have in mind.
It hurt when you blame yourself for being hurt. It hurt that you are hurt in the time you shouldn’t.


Why can’t anyone get the simple idea that I know I am 30 yrs old. I know that I don’t have enough social exposure to get to know a person and get married.
I know that everyone else has a life. I know that if I made it to 50 yrs old I will be known as the old lady with the plants, unless I got cats, and I know that I might end up making front pages because of my tragic kill on the hand of a robber who knew that I am a lonely, vulnerable old lady.

I know that I will get sick and won’t find someone to fetch me medicine. I know my nights will be colder and my days will be longer.

I know that I am a waste to the economy because I don’t contribute to GDP by cooking for my family.

I know all these and I know more. I know I am a mess. And I don’t need to be reminded how much of a mess I am.

I know I am a mess, and I am so thankful for all the advices. I really appreciate the care. I am really grateful that God didn’t deal me bad cards. I am grateful I can afford unemployment and identity crisis. I am sincerely thankful for my blessings, the ones I can count and the ones I can’t.

So, I am thankful for being the mess I am. Whatever happens tomorrow is still unknown and I am the really optimistic person who wrote that darkness is light!

I am sick of feeling guilty for disappointing the many people who had hopes on me. I am sick of feeling that I am not showing enough appreciation. Because this is the best I can do. I am sick that I am not wise but that’s me.

Why it is so hard to understand that those advices and that sweet talking about how I am ruining my future really hurt? Why it is so hard to understand that I am done trying hard and I want to be taken the way I am?

Why it is so hard to understand the things I can’t say?

It is not a Depression

I don’t want to work
I don’t want to get married
I don’t want to go out with my friends
I don’t want to go shopping
I don’t want to get out of bed
I don’t want to talk

I don’t want to die


But I can’t remember when I decided I don’t want to live.

Every Morning I wake up on a hope that this day will be the day time freezes. And every night I pray it won’t be my last.

If only I remember when did I decide not to live!

The Way I am

We are all freaks in a way. We dress up, we talk to impress or even better we say we don’t care but this never change that at a moment we will look in the mirror to see a freak in need of acceptance. Someone to take us the way we are. Someone who won’t get out the fixing tools to mend all the fractions. Someone to see the beauty in the pieces, the value of dirt and the significance of nothing.

I don’t know why this song gives me a heart ache.


Enjoy!