There was a moment when I decided to let him go. I was with another man. I never stopped writing him, i never stopped loving him yet I kept moving on from one relationship to the other because I knew we were never going to happen.
So when I felt that keeping him in my life might affect my relationship with that man i decided to cut him off. I didnt really, i couldn't.
All what i could do back then was deleting every "evidence" that i kept contact with him while with the other guy ( not that the other guy would mind, we weren't exclusive). All what i could do back then was writing him about my relationship.
Pages of anger. Pages of blame for not stepping up and doing what the other guy was doing
Then the other guy left. And another guy came and then left and more came and left.
And nothing breaks my heart more than the fact that i thought i can give him up to have a "stable" relationahip.
Nothing breaks my heart like the memory of the things i have done because we are never going to happen.
Nothing breaks my heart like hopelessly loving him.
So when I felt that keeping him in my life might affect my relationship with that man i decided to cut him off. I didnt really, i couldn't.
All what i could do back then was deleting every "evidence" that i kept contact with him while with the other guy ( not that the other guy would mind, we weren't exclusive). All what i could do back then was writing him about my relationship.
Pages of anger. Pages of blame for not stepping up and doing what the other guy was doing
Then the other guy left. And another guy came and then left and more came and left.
And nothing breaks my heart more than the fact that i thought i can give him up to have a "stable" relationahip.
Nothing breaks my heart like the memory of the things i have done because we are never going to happen.
Nothing breaks my heart like hopelessly loving him.
No comments:
Post a Comment