February 26, 2014

Between a Rock & a Hard Place

It is really simple. I have been suffering for months. My heart is being crushed day in/ day out.

I have tried everything possible. I am even half a step away from fulfilling a childhood dream.

I ate. I shopped. I worked. I dated men.

I did everything I could do. Yet I am stuck.

I fail.

And he is happy.

He is married. He is doing all the things he said he doesn't want to do.

I am stuck. I am struggling. I am in pain.

I am tired.

I don't even know how do I feel.

It is just painful.

I am stuck.

I am too old for this.

I am not supposed to be feeling this way.

I am stuck! And I am being crushed by my own feelings.


Anonymous said...

Hello Shimaa,
What is the childhood dream you're half step away of fulfilling? just curious..!
warm regard, hope things will get better for you soon.

Shimaa Gamal said...

Hello M :)

Being a "writer" :)

I hope life is treating you well :)

Anonymous said...

and a good one InshaAllah,
you have what it takes.

Shimaa Gamal said...

hello M

actually I am going through a phase of self doubt.

I am not sure i have what it really takes.

self doubt is a killer :)

Anonymous said...

we are human and we have our ups and downs, don't let external affairs(i.e relationships with others) effect your self worth,
you are responsible for yourself and not for others mishaps.
It seems to me kaman you are bent Sa3eedyah or at least from a sa3eed origin so you should live up to the tough stereotype:)
I have been reading your blog for a while now and I feel that you have what it takes, so stop being humble:)

Shimaa Gamal said...

Yes i have a sa3eedy origin :) you got this right :)

Thank you for the confidence boost :)

Wish me loads of luck :)

Mohamed ELgindy said...

salamo 3alaikom
its great simple words my friend but there is a lot of deep feelings I felt the same while ago now everything changed
take care dear and cya

Shimaa Gamal said...

Hello Mohamed

Yes, it comes and goes. Thanks a lot for your kind words.

c u :)