December 17, 2012

Something that needed to be said

It is 2.15 am and I have been crying for an hour. My plan was to read myself to sleep but instead I ended up crying myself to sleep. I am still choking on tears. And I don't know whether or not I can sleep tonight.

Why I am crying? Probably I ran out of friends. Well, I have plenty of friends. But I don't feel any of them has been understanding me recently. They are annoying. They are annoying with all their advices and tips. With all their sympathy and empathy. They are annoying because they are cold.

I know it is anger talk, but I am lonely. And I feel trapped. And I can't see a point in living ... really.

I don't want to work. I don't want to get married. I don't want to have kids. I am not even doing the things I used to do. I barely read. I stopped blogging. It takes a miracle to get me out to do anything. I am always short tempered. I am picking on fights with everyone. And i am crying myself to sleep.

I am drained. I am drained. I have no energy to explain how or why. I don't want to explain. I am just drained. And I can't wish to die because I don't want to die. I want to live. Really, all what I want is to live. But there is no point in living.

And I am lonely.

I am drained.

And people are dense.

I ran out of means of "self recharging".

There is no point in living

yet I am breathing!

People are really too dense I prefer being alone.
People are too dense I stopped telling them things.
People are really dense, they can't keep their advices to their own.

I am lonely, I am drained and I am crying myself to sleep.


Fadfadation said...

wooo... rrr.. all i can say is if you need anything, i am a click away.

Fadfadation said...

Woooooo...rrr... all i can say is i am a click away if you need anything :)

Shimaa Gamal said...

The fact that you read this blog made my day :)

Thank you my dear :)

Anonymous said...

Salamtik Ya Shimaa,
Hope just passing winter blues.

Shimaa Gamal said...

Hello M

it is the winter blues :)

Winter was never my season.

I hope life is treating u well :)

Anonymous said...

You are never alone. You are always in someone's thoughts. Someone you'd never imagine who it would be.


Shimaa Gamal said...

Hello Someone

Thank you for the warm smile you just drew on my heart.

L.G. said...

خلتيني احس أد ايه اصحابي كويسين وبينفعوني لأن كلهم تقريبا بيتقبلوا أفكاري ومشاعري وتصرفاتي الغلط بطريقة صح بيسمعوني بس ومبينصحوش بيبقم عارفين اني بس عايزاهم يطبطبوا عليا لأني عارفة النصايح بس مش قادرة اعمل بيها

دلوقتي لما بمر بحالة كده زي ما بتقولي بقول لنفسي أيام وحتعدى
قل لمن يحمل الهموم .. إن همك لن يدوم
مثلما تفنى السعادة .. هكذا تفنى الهموم