Y finally facing X
Y: Here is the thing. The problem, our problem, was never that I didn’t have the courage to tell you. It was never that I wasn’t sure of how I feel, or how you would have reacted to how I feel. The problem has always been that we both knew. We both knew that the step I took towards you that morning was the end of my hesitation and the start of yours.
And because we both knew, I never tried to face you with what I know you knew. Because facing you would have meant that you will have to decide and I knew you enough to know that your decision will always be the safety of pushing me away.
I chose the indecisive state because I was aware of the games both our minds were playing. And I believe you were aware too but you have always denied them.
So, you don’t get to blame me for not telling you back then. Blame no one but yourself because you knew. You were aware that it is you who I really wanted. You knew that I needed a spoonful of you in my life and I believe you needed a spoonful of me in your life too. But you had other plans of having me along your “other things”. And you were sure I won’t ever mind because you knew I needed you.
You don’t get to blame me for you poor choices. You don’t get to blame me for choosing the only option that would have led to you losing me eventually.
You don’t get to play surprised because you are not.
You don’t get to ask me why I didn’t tell you, because I did.
I told you every day with everything I did. And I don’t think there was a better way to tell you that I am in love with you …
I am in love with you
- The end -