The Dark Side of the Soul

There was a dimmed part of his soul. He was there but not fully heartedly.
That dimmed part is what this is all about. It is the part that he is keeping out of my reach that keeps me attached to him.
That dimmed part is the black hole that keeps pulling me closer and closer.

ما كذب الفؤاد ما رأى ...

Always! 

Loss - 8

The thing about emptiness is that you can't cross it without having to face crushing waves of sadness.

The land of emptiness is the land of no life. You don't feel joy or pain. You are nothing but a nothing feeling nothing.

The moment you start to walk towards the land of life where feelings live. You will be welcomed with overwhelming waves of sadness. 

They will crush every single bone in you.

They will kill you ... eventually they will, literally!

Note to self

I miss writing. I also need to get published.

On the Absurdity of my Life

So basically, right now I am doing everything I rebelled at earlier. 

I am walking down the road my Dad paved and repeatedly asked me to walk. 

Right now, refusing to walk down that road back then seems to be one of my foolish decisions. Yet had I walked that way back then I wouldn't have tasted living my dream.

It feels absurd. 

But I am not in a mental shape to analyse such absurdity.

I lived the dream, then death took it away from me. And death put me back "willingly" on a track that I "willingly" left once.