Quick Notes!

• I don’t know how I am supposed to feel. I am not sure if I am upset or relived. If it is ok to feel smart or I should feel stupid. I don’t know whether to cry or to laugh.
  I am not sure if the word feeling is of any relevance any more.
  



• I was shopping the last week and I found a top that reads “I am sexy, I am hot, I am everything you are not” I wanted to buy it as it spoke of my mood back then. Today in my shopping spree I came across a simple t-shirt that looks nothing like me, but still I wanted to buy it as it read “I am very sensitive”. I thought maybe if I wore a sign people will start watching out treating me.
  



• I don’t think love was on the cards in the first place, I guess I lost the ability to love. Or may be he proved that even if there was a slightest chance that I can love again this chance is unlikely to happen.
  As for me to love again, I need the miracle of the different man, A man who cares, A man who looks before he treads, A man who is capable of giving, a man who is capable of keeping his word, A man who worth the trust. a man who can understand how traumatized I am, a man who can see that inside me there is nothing that we can call heart as it has been torn by his ruthless ancestors.
  I don’t think love is/ will be on the cards.
  



• I just sent an SMS to a friend telling him that I need to cry but I can’t find my tears.
  



• The last thing I want right now is to write about Brad, but I guess I should do. I owe myself a detoxification session.

Picture by Pablo Picasso