October 18, 2009

Once Upon a Time in Neverland




Y: I can’t keep on that lame dance for good. You got to make choices. You have to decide which side you are.


X: You are scaring me.


Y: I never thought the idea of losing me will scare you that much.


X: it isn’t. The idea of marrying you is!

Picture: Rebecca Amroian

October 13, 2009

Quote of the Day

Attraction is beyond our will or ideas sometimes - Juliette Binoche

October 12, 2009

The List

As if you didn't know me enough :)

1- Were you named after anyone?
No


2- When was the last Time you cried?
Last Thursday, as I talked the night away with the ex!


3- Do you like your handwriting?
Sometimes


4- What's your favorite lunch meat?
I am a steak person


5- Do you have kids?
No!


6- If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Hmmm, I guess yes!


7- Do you use sarcasm?
Always!


8- Do you still have your tonsils?
Yes!


9 -Would you BUNGEE JUMP?
Never


10- What's your favorite cereal?
Nothing specific


11- Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Only if I had too.


12- What's your favorite ice-cream?
Mango & chocolate


13- What's the first thing you notice about people?
How fake their smile is


14- Red or Pink?
Pink, then Red


15- What's your least favorite thing about yourself?
How I get attached to people


16- Who do you miss the most?
My Mom


17- Do you want everyone to complete this list?
Sure, it is good to have fun every now and then.


18- What color pants and shirt are you wearing?
A dress, and flip-flops


19- What are you listening to right now?
Little Pieces, Gomez


20- If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Blue, or maybe green. Something that a kid will use a lot.


21-Favorite smells?
Rain, Grass, fresh bakes and me just out of shower.


22- Who was the last person you talked to on phone?
Texted, Sameh, this morning.


23- How do you know the person who sent you this?
Cesario, we know each other through blogging.


24- Favorite sports to watch?
Almost everything. My favorite sport is watching sports.


25- Hair Color?
Brown.


26- Eye Color?
Brown, matching the hair ;)


27- Do you wear contacts?
No


29- Favorite food?
That question hurts! I love food, why do you think I am always dieting. Everything is my favorite :(


30- Scary movie or happy endings?
Neither, Nor. Anything that will make me laugh!


31- Last movie you watched?
I can’t remember.


32- What color shirt are you wearing?
Again, I am wearing dress. Pale yellow.


33- Summer or Winter?
Autumn!


34- Hugs or Kisses?
Both


35- What book are you reading right now?
Just finished Isabel Allende’s “Portrait in Sepia” and I completely loved it!


36- What's on your mouse pad?
I don't use one.


37- What did you watch on tv last night?
I didn’t watch TV last night. The last thing I watched was Egypt vs Zambia football match two days ago.


38- Favorite sound(s)?
The rain, water in general.


39- Rolling stones or beatles?
Beatles.


40- What's the farthest you have been from home?
KSA (Umrah)


41- Do you have a special talent?
Hmmm, used to think I have.


42- Where were you born?
Cairo, Egypt


43- Favorite piece of jewlery?
Necklaces and Bangles.

October 10, 2009

Talking a Night Away

Him: what’s the type of disaster did you do this time

Me: I did nothing, I swear. Why do you think I did something?

Him: Isn’t there anyone new?

Me: No, I have become too old and ugly to attract men.

Him: hehe … no way, you are still as sexy as ever.

Me: Was, I am not sexy or anything now

Him: blah … blah … blah


………


Him: if only you knew how much I see you beautiful and sexy, you would have done it long time ago.

Me: you know I would have done it anyway if I can ;)

Me: H, am I really beautiful?

Him: You are

Me: So what is so bad about me?

Him: You are being stupid. You try to mask your intelligence with your stupidity. I am sorry but you asked for honesty. You have some ideas that cause lots of miscommunication

Me: But I try to communicate, I do my best to communicate

Him: You have to change your way, it makes you fail every time.

Me: What should I do?


Him: You should stop trying to force your way on people.

Me: I don’t try to force my way on people. I am even being nice to those I hate.

Him: What’s the use of being nice to someone after giving them a hard time?

Me: I only give them hard time when they try to impose change on me in a way. Why don’t people just accept me the way I am?

Him: You have some really stupid ideas!

Me: The thing is I invest in people. I expect return on this investment.

Him: I told you, you have some really stupid ideas. If you really have to invest in people, do it in real people not someone you knew online. If you really have to invest, invest in family, husband and kids.

Me: I am already investing in my family. I have nothing else but friends and those you call unreal people. And I stopped making friends online long time ago

Him: “Raising someone else’s child is like building on a land that you don’t own”. You are investing in me, you are investing in HIM and God only knows who else.

Me: 1st you are real. 2nd do you think I should cut HIM off? I don’t count him as an unreal person but do you think I should cut HIM off?

Him: Why do you think you should cut him off?

Me: Nothing, you have a perspective and I’d like to know what you think.

Him: Don’t cut him off! Just get to know what to expect in return before investing. Give as much as you are expecting to be given. I won’t talk about HIM, I don’t know HIM but I know me, so I’ll talk about me. Well, I miss you. I love you. But when you are not around I have a life that I am not ready to give up for any reason. (Sorry for being rude). So, regardless how much you will invest in me you won’t get more than whatever I have to offer.

Me: No one would ever give as much as I invest, because everyone has his life.

Him: So the question is why do you invest? Or why do you over invest? Isn’t it wise to give me as much as you are expecting me to give back?

Me: Well, if my investment in people could translate into money terms I assure you I have thrown away a whole fortune.

Him: I can’t agree more, baby. So learn and ACT!

Me: All what I wanted that one day one of the losers I have invested in will choose me over the lots of silly things they choose over me.

Him: Honey, if you invested in me hoping that I will give up my life for you this will be pure stupidity because I won’t give up my life for anything. The best I can do is having you along them.

Me: But I never asked you to dump your life for me.

Him: what I mean is that each person has a limit. The limit for me is to have you along them. I don’t know about him but I am sure each person has his own agenda.

Me: so, how can I get to know this limit?

Him: Be rational, study the person. You are good at this.

Me: I am not good at anything.

Him: Ok, for example, me. What do you expect from me?

Me: Nothing!

Him: Wrong. Again you are being stupid. You can have lots of things of me. I miss you, I love you, I listen to you, and I support you. I can give you lots of things that only thing that I can’t give is giving up my life, my wife and kid. This is the only thing I can’t do. But saying that you are expecting nothing from me just because I can’t give you things the way you want it to be is pure stupidity.

Me: having the things in a way that I don’t want means that I didn’t have them.

Him: once more, stupid. You should collect things. They might be useful one day.

Me: Collections are useless.

Him: No, it is like having someone for everything. It is better than not having anyone for anything. The thing is you are seeking a lover, a husband. This will take time. But leaving all of them behind just because they are not husbands isn’t the right thing to do.

Me: I am not looking for a husband.

Him: Silly.

Me: Well, this is the problem. I am not looking for a husband.

Him: I am just giving you an example.

Me: I am not expecting anyone to be my husband. I am just expecting that at least people mean the things they say, I want people not to lie to me, and I want people to respect that I might be smart. I want people to apologize sometimes. And I would like to know what they want from me.
Him: I was just talking about this with a friend of mine and I was telling her that in 90% of the times a man gets to know a woman for sex. In 5% he knows her for company and filling time and the last 5% he is serious and considering commitment. So whenever in doubt, try these percentages.

Me: I deserve better than that. I deserve better than being just an entertainment. This breaks my heart.

Him: It is sad but true. Hence you don’t have to invest in no return investments.

Me: Do you think I really deserve better?

Him: Everyone deserves better. I just wonder why you always end up with this type of people. I think it is because you are always selling yourself short.


……


Him: you have admirers and lovers. I am one of them; if I weren’t married I would have married you in a heartbeat. And I am so serious about having you along her!

Me: I only want to know why they always choose other women over me.

Him: I think they do because they are already committed. No one would end a commitment.

Me: No, even those who weren’t committed chose other women. One of them even made a list of the things that turned him off. That included my poor choice of wardrobe, my voice, my P’s & B’s and that YOU have left prints on me


Him: He is just stupid. And the things he mentioned don’t make a decent man leave a woman. Plus, why do you keep telling people about us?

Me: because I am an honest person.

Him: but there is nothing to be told. It is just that you had a boyfriend as simple as that. You just keep over reacting. So, stop telling them details that will make them scared because these details are only big in your mind.

Me: I only see details and though might be little, I always see them big.

Him: Tell me about that guy, what did you want from him, Marriage?

Me: No

Him: So, you didn’t want marriage and you didn’t want him to leave you to another woman? I can’t get this!

Me: All what I wanted was potential. Plus, I can’t understand you! You have always been attacking me whenever I showed that I wanted real commitment, now you are attacking me for saying I don’t. I don’t really get why men flee either way!

Him: You can always have me ;)


……


Him: I never knew how to handle you. I am not a beginner and you have always made me feel like one. I don’t know why maybe because of how I always felt towards you. But all what I know is that I am a beginner when you are around.

Me: Thanks God I met the beginner, that beginner is way too experienced for me.

Him: You don’t know how much you worth.

Me: LOL, you reminded me of a friend, he always said that I under estimate myself.

Him: Your friend is wise, and this is the weakest point about you. Anyone could get to you from it.

Me: Yeah, that was what my friend told me when he met M.

Him: Do you tell all your friends about all your relations? How can you find the time? Did you tell HIM about M too.

Me: Well, HE knows everything about me.

Him: like what?

Me: Like everything. Like he’s been living with me for years.

Him: hmmm

Me: anyway, I just can’t stand HIM these days.

Him: No, and I know why?

Me: Why?

Him: You know how much I hate chatting. Go sleep (k)

October 06, 2009

Some nights are just destined to be long, this is one of them.

October 05, 2009

Because a Picture Worth a Thousand Words




"A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you the less you know."Diane Arbus

September 10, 2009

Jobless Lady*

One of my best friends wrote me this :)




By Amany Zakaria
================



I met a friend, not long time ago
A very close friend, with a mind that glows
She's single, well-educated I know
But was suprised to learn, she works no more!!!

Upon asking her the reason for so
Is it recession or no place to go
She surprised me with a theory...
I'd love to share with you all

She asked simplily "why the OH!
If I am not bored,
Nor am I financially low
In fact, there's a lot to do"

"I spend my time reading, like i never read before
I can develop mentally, that's for sure
I have time for my family and friends so close
Why is it a must i go to work?"

"Why link education to having to work?
Why staying home is such a dark thought?
Why, when I get married, it's better to stay home?
Why do I "just have to go with the flow?""

My family talks to me no more
My friends pray I leave the "store"
They believe i do nothing but clean the floor
Why not accept me the way I adore?"

Dear friend, forgive me for doing so
Not accepting nor supporting you
But, rather, pushing and arguing you
And why..........just because "everybody sees so"


*Special dedication to shimaa gamal. I'm still waiting for your theory in colliqual arabic, as i heard it from you :)

September 08, 2009

Blessings


Here is a secret; I keep a list of almost everything that could be listed. I keep lists of things that made me happy, things that would me happier, things I hate and things I love. I keep a list of people and their priorities. I subconsciously list everything. And sure I have had listed the blessings I could count before.

But upon Ibhog’s request, here I am sharing some of the blessings I could count because regardless how hard any of us could try, we can never count the blessings God granted us.

Here are the rules:

· The point is to say a heartfelt ‘Thank God’. So, you’ll have to choose power blessings, ones that really really are endowments, that you couldn’t possibly feel deeper gratitude towards God for. Ones that you feel grateful for, everyday.

· After each blessing, you’ll have to choose one word to describe your state. Examples: “Happy”, “Excited”, “Thankful”, “Humble”. Or, you have to choose any word that comes to your mind after it anyway – one that’ll summarize it all.

· The ones you’d choose are preferred to be special to you, for instance, we all know that ‘Eye Sight’ is an immense blessing, and of course we can list it, but preferably if it has a special meaning to us.

· The number of your blessings should be between 5 and 10.

· After finishing your list, you should write the word: “El7amodellah” in bold, and say it out loud.

· You should tag as many friends as you can – even the ones who don’t blog, inform them that they must comment.

· After that, well, all you do is to be happy and to have ‘Reda’



و إن تعدوا نعمة الله لا تحصوها




And here is my list:

1- I am grateful for having my father, sister and brother. They are the air I breathe. The reason that makes me wake up every morning even when I am so angry at them.


2- I am grateful for having friends. People who care about me even when I disappear for months. They never lose hope in digging me up. I am grateful they are always there.


3- I am grateful for having a large family. I have a total of 12 uncles and aunts both sides. With an average of 3 kids for each. You do the math. I have a little tribe that I call family. I am so grateful to have them and I am so grateful we are so close to each other.


4- I am grateful that people don’t hate me at first sight. Some might think I am arrogant but most of the time people like me.


5- I am grateful I can afford many things others can’t.


6- I am grateful I have nothing but minor problems. I could have said no problems but minor is my excuse to whine later.


7- I am grateful for being healthy and young.


8- I am grateful for having a religion. It would have been too hard for someone with my mind o find God if I was born not believing in one. I am grateful for being a Muslim.


9- I am grateful for being saved from all the troubles I had in my short life. God always saved me.


10- I am grateful for being able to remember these blessings in the dark moments. I am grateful that God is merciful to let his blessings lit my occasional darkness.



اللهم لك الشكر


So, now write your own list. You are tagged.


You can find Arabic translation here. Special thanks to L.G.

August 21, 2009

Ironically 30




Sometimes I feel that you, my dear dedicated blog readers and passersby, are really lucky. Because most of the time God, for those of you who believe there is one, spare you a lot of none sense. I know it has been a while since I last wrote anything. It has been too long that I even forgot how I used to do it. But here I go again trying to be as courageous as before to spill the nonsense I have in my mind into a readable form.


So, I am thirty. Yeah, finally I crossed that virtual line I drew for myself 10 years ago. I was planning to get back to blogging by a long post about those thirty years of my life. I was planning to give a long speech about how failure is success in the core. I was planning different forms of celebrations that weren’t limited to that long philosophical speech that God just spared you. (For those who don’t believe in God this is enough reason to believe! Trust me!)


I was planning different outings with different people; I also planned a hair cut and a photo session. I was hoping to buy a new scanner to share with my “facebook world” the evidence that a cute little kid could actually grow to be …. Well, me!


As I have always done in the last 30 years I had the best laid plans and I had the will to see them through. Though the hair cut thing was delayed, and so did the metamorphosis photo album. But I had my share of fun and sure presents!


As I wanted, the celebrations started a week ahead. A thing that I believe a typical narcissist would do. My cousin threw me my 1st online party, my sister started the count down and dug all types of birthday songs she could find online. I started a series of outings with most of my favorite friends. I talked, they listened and the food was great.


To sum it up things seemed to be working perfectly according to plan, till it was – 3 or 4 hours to cross the line and the phone rang.


I wasn’t really expecting the voice on the other end but I kind of expected the call. It was my uncle’s wife telling me that my grandpa just passed away.

At this point I could start lecturing about life and death. I could take this as a reason to give the lecture I have been planning to prove how wise I am at the age of 30.


But I just can’t. Because two minutes after that phone call and as I was fighting tears and reciting prayers for my late grandpa I got a text message on my phone wishing me a happy birthday.

Well, it isn’t really my very 1st time to lose a grandparent just before my birthday; my grandma did it two days before my sweet 16. I don’t want to sound paranoid but doesn’t it feel like a conspiracy!


I just can’t stop laughing. How people are reacting to the awkwardness of the situation. I am having“three in one” phone calls, condolences + birthday wishes + Ramadan greetings.


I can’t ignore the irony. I am in no position to preach how a person should act in a similar social situation. I actually replied to those birthday wishes by “thanks, my grandpa passed away”. I know it was rude but I couldn’t find a better way. I really appreciated those who were socially smart and wished me a better year. I don’t mean that this year was a bad one, but what else could a one say in a birthday and a funeral!


Anyway, I thought that my 30th birthday was a really good joke and I shouldn’t be laughing at it alone.


And for you kids who aren’t 30 yet, don’t over plan! Because there will always be a factor that you can’t control. Whatever they teach you about planning in a pure myth. Planning is just organized dreaming because destiny will always be there. And always, always be ahead of things. Celebrate as early as you remember and apologize as soon as you do the mistake. Life is too short to wait for the right time.


And for those oldies above thirty, if you are still planning thinking you could beat destiny so you are hopeless. And if you are still waiting for the right time, congratulations you have wasted your life!



“Happy birthday, I am sorry for your loss and Ramadan Karim!”


Picture from: Gill's Blog