Forget Him

I couldn't find anything to say it better. This goes to all the girls who think they are in love with someone who care nothing about them ....

Illusions: An Analysis

Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Conners, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger, and nothing like Robert Redford--but you'll take him anyway!! - Judith Viorst

Life is like a desert. To live is to survive the burning mornings and freezing nights. To live, is to secure a shelter in the scary open and to live is to believe in company while walking in the valley of wolfs.
Life resembles desert in many ways. Scarcity is one way. Illusions are another.
Unlike desert, illusions in life take many forms. While in desert, we have only the visual illusion which is a phenomenon that can easily be explained by physics. In life we have a phenomenal number of illusions that can never be related to physics.
As we strive for water in desert, we strive for security in life, security that comes in different forms and on different levels. Food, shelter and basic needs can be the perfect definition of security for some of us. A reputable career, a stylish car and a mountain of money could be the best definition for others. Love, family and safe company could be the optimum mix for the rest. Security could be a mix of everything and anything, but it is generally more of the resources the one think can help him survive through the desert called life.
Without getting too much into physics, visual illusion is simply a problem with perception. The reflection of sun light on sand gives the impression of water. And as water is the thing we struggle for in desert, we always forget that simple fact and follow our misleading perception.
Though unrelated to physics, other illusions basically follow that very simple logic. Illusions are just a perception problem; it is our personal perception of things that mislead us. It is our readiness to follow the illusion that takes us to middle of no where. It is our willingness to believe that these reflections are real water that leads us to the end.
We fall for illusions for different reasons, depending on the mix of security we seek, we fall for illusions to ease pain, to skip reality and sometimes because there is nothing else to believe. As the best thing about illusions is that they are always tempting and always pleasant, but unfortunately they always lead to middle of nowhere.
In desert, you risk your life following an illusion. You waste precious time hunting what can’t be hunted. You follow reflections instead of real water you seek, in life things work some how the same way. You get attracted to an illusion seeking what can’t be sought.
Illusions are a mirror where every thing looks beautiful. It twists reality to look as we deeply wish, in that mirror a witch will be an angel falling from heaven and a monster will act as prince charming. Illusions are the hard way to learn our lessons as it always comes at the high price of opportunity cost.
Anger, boredom and loneliness are all reflecting surfaces causing illusions. Anger, boredom and loneliness deflect the human mind towards emotional traps.
Love is one of these traps, or in actual terms imitations of love are the most famous of traps and the most known of illusions.
Real love is as scarce as diamonds, and mostly mistaken with rocks, while illusionary love is as shiny as glass but it worth as much as it.
In the quest for real diamonds, real love, we fall for many similar rocks. Lust, admiration, appreciation, like and love at first sight all shines but shininess of no value. Although each of them is based on a certain emotion, that can never be neglected but such emotions can never be compared to love.
Walking down the sighs valley, following a mirage of non existing water, shining loneliness will make some semi precious stones shines with reflections. A pure physical attraction will then be mistaken as love instead of calling it lust. Boredom will make a pure charcoal so promising of turning into a diamond so soon, the same way instant likeness is called by some, “love at first sight”. Anger is an exaggerating set of rays that will make an enemy of a friend and a lover of someone we just like.
Walking down the sighs valley, following the mirage of non existing solutions, we jump to love as the answer for each single question we ever had.
We just keep missing the real stone as the real stone is usually beneath the shiny semi precious feelings we fall for. We fall for these semi precious rocks as the real worthy one needs work to be earned. To get a diamond you need to dig for it, clean it, shape it and then give it to the one who deserve it. Love is earned through hard work, persistence and patience. Love needs to be handled with care and delivered to those who have waited anxiously for it to develop. Love isn’t a ready made fake jewelry, it is a tailored to taste custom designed art. Love is so precious that it is not commonly traded. Love is a set of rays not a reflecting surface. Love is the opportunity we waste, while running down the sighs valley hunting shiny illusions the same way a butterfly persistently hunt a fire looking for the shininess of light and facing nothing but burning to death.

Picture: Fractal by Pablo Picasso

Just what I needed

Brad once asked me about my defination of security, I couldn't come up with a proper defination as I couldn't find one way a man can make me feel secured.

Till yesterday, when the lioness managed to take a nap and let the little kitten face the world alone, only then I found a defination that might be proper for security, security is to find someone you know for sure that everything is going to be alright as far as he is around.

Someone to say, no woman don't cry ... everything is going to be alright.

Thanks God, the lioness is back roaring ...

Thank you for making the wake up call :)

Fairies’ Boxes and Black Tales

Once upon a time, there was a little beautiful girl who suffered from everything in life. She was poor, orphan with a witch step mother. The girl has hidden all her life, trying to survive poverty and adapting to the step mother orders. Till one day a prince showed up, to do all the work and magically saving her days.
That was a typical fairy tale, something that can describe Cinderella, Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood , The Beauty & The Beast or any other tale of the long list fed to little girls.
These fairy tales are mostly characterized by some major aspects. In all these stories the girl is always of rare beauty and people around her are tremendously ugly.
The girl is always miserable, either because of being poor, or because of a horrible step mother, or for any other reason. But misery is a pre-requisite in any fairy tale. And this misery is the source of the girl’s nobility.
The girl will never work to end her misery; the girl is always characterized of being patient and adapting to the surrounding harsh environment.
In all these tales, a fairy will interfere to give the girl the proper chance to meet a prince charming, and if there was no fairy then there will always be a magic well, or a wish to finding someone to love. Some how a prince will show up, and when the prince shows up there will not be any problems. The prince will slay the dragons, kill the dark magic and finally save the girl’s life with a magical kiss. The prince will make a princess of the poor girl, and they will always live happily ever after.
Girls are brought up on these tales, tales that value beauty, imply that misery is noble, induce submission, and promote the idea of prince charming.
A girl awaits her fairy tale; her life is a misery without a prince. Beauty is her only weapon and happily ever after is her only goal.
The girl lives believing that solutions are man made, usually in a form of a kiss.
In real life, there are no fairies. And princes have their own troubles. In real life, kisses are not the solution, but probably are the start of problems. In real life, misery isn’t a state of nobility but overcoming it, is.
Fairy tales explain most of the girlish behavior. It explains the fashion passion. The make up trends, the dancing classes, the weight watch, the nagging, the sad look and the competition. For each girl is doing her best to be the princess who catches the princess eyes.
There is not a fairy tale that describes a princess as smart or wise. There is not a prince who fell for a princess’ mind.
There is not a fairy tale without a misery as there is not a fairy tale without a magical kiss.

If only girls knew that there is no Santa, and that Cinderella filed for divorce.

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Once, I was one of those girls. I had the fairy tale theme running in the back ground of my life. I got into most of my relations opting for the happily ever after end. I waited for the magical kiss that infuses life in the princess veins.
But the princes in my tales were never charming, and the fairies were never skillful. And by the end of each tale, I grab the fairy, the memories and the prince, put them all in big black box and throw them away in a deep dark sea.
I remembered my old fairy tales as Brad asked me which one was my prince charming. He wanted to know if I had the ability to choose, which one of them was going to have the happily ever after life with me.
I couldn’t give him an answer; it wasn’t the first time to be asked that question. A friend asked me that very same question before and I couldn’t give him an answer.
But some how his question made me go through the black boxes buried in the dark sea. I started getting each box out to figure out what was missing to make it a fairy tale.
The first box was too stinky that I couldn’t stand the smell. It seems that I have buried the prince alive along with his fairy. I looked at the scattered pieces of memories then I closed my eyes and I drew an end that would have made that tale a fairy tale.
This tale would only be a fairy tale, if that little man gets the chance to re-meet his old girl. It will only be a fairy tale, if he has got the chance to know that the little girl is now a woman. The envy look will complement the happy look I will have on my face.
I buried that stinky box, and got out another. That one didn’t have a buried prince. It had a live fairy with a glittery magic wand. The box had a big vault with secret numbers where I kept a dagger with my blood on and a little pieces of papers of what shouldn’t be remembered. I closed my eyes and made a wish, for the fairy to die and for the prince to vanish.
I moved on to another box, it had “DANGER” engraved on it. It was empty for my surprise. I let the memories go one night but I kept the box to remind me of the man who stepped on my Neverland.
I came across the Brad’s box where I know the woman is buried I asked if she has anything to say, and all what she said was, if it was meant to be a fairy tale he would have finished the kiss dream.

I buried the boxes back in place with all the memories, princes and unattainable happy endings. And if I am to choose a dream, I will never choose any of them. As the man who deserves my tears will never make me cry.

Picture: Galatea Of The Spheres by Salvador Dali

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Se7en Deadly Sins

Greed:	Low
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Very Low
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Quote of the Day

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. — Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948)

Void

It has been almost a month. I don’t know if it is fasting that’s causing me this status of hollowness or is it boredom has got its way with me.
I just can’t write, don’t want to talk and always in a need for sleep.
I am not feeling down, but I am not feeling normal. I feel something is missing. I feel the need for unknown thing.
I am a void, living in void ….


Picture: Void

Hmmmmmmmmm

I just can't find anything to write, I completely lost the ability to express my ideas in a written format. I just think, think and then think with nothing to write.

:( :( :( :(

Replies - 3

One more time I am back to replies, Mr. Alaa has left me another comment that I won’t publish. I was going to ignore but here I am replying not in a way to defend myself against his accusations but to speak of millions of Egyptian girls who share the same ideology.

Mr. Alaa wrote;

I will focus of your words Miss Shaimaa. If the Muslim man is that GREAT in your mind couldn't you find one to accept you with those beliefs? If your idea about he Muslim man is that GREAT why then all those arguments. Why you dont wanna be the sweet, nice submissive Muslim woman. Why you wanna imitate the American bitches? 3ala2

So, Mr. Alaa

1- Muslim men are supposed to be great, because they belong to a great religion. But unfortunately, those Muslim men are just Muslims by duty. They were born Muslims to Muslim families, and none of them ever thought what’s behind that religion. None of those Muslims thought how Islam changed the ignorant Arabs to be the leaders of the world. I have always said that the real miracle of Islam was turning the Arabs to be a civilized community. They are just Muslims by duty, using Islam and God to validate personal opinions that has nothing to do with Islam.

2- “Couldn’t you find one to accept you with those beliefs”. So, Mr. Alaa I don’t know how did you jump to the conclusion that I can’t find a man to accept my beliefs. Again, you are assuming that I have no men around and that I am a disgusting creature. I am sorry to disappoint you, but I am not what you hope I am. I am a girl of a sound opinion; I am respected by everyone who meets me. And I have a long list of men who admire my ideology. I am sorry again to disappoint you, but unfortunately I am a girl lots of men can’t have. I am the woman men dream about but dare not own. Your sentence should be re-phrased, the sentence should be, why you couldn’t accept any of the non great, average men around you. And the answer will always be, average was never and will never be my type. I am everything a man wants, so I can’t just give everything to anyone.

3- Muslim women are not submissive. Up to my knowledge, Islam was never a supressive religion, unless you belong to the stupid Wahabi’s who think that Islam was the law God put to validate their “bedwain” traditions, Islam is religion that valued the human and as Muslims we only submit to our God. So I will have to disagree again, and I am sorry to disappoint you again as Islam isn’t tailored to meet your sadistic dreams.

4- I am not going to comment on putting me and bitches in one sentence. I could have removed the word but I left it as an evidence on how well mannered you are.

5- This will be my last reply to you, so spare yourself the effort of using the F words and the B words. Please spare yourself the effort of writing a reply on this. And spare yourself the tries to turn me to your kind of a woman. I am sorry to disappoint you again, but sometimes some women are star far. And you can’t make a star fall by calling her bitch, or by using dirty sexual comments. The star will keep shinning leading those who lost the way to the safe shores.

Over and Out


P.S.
Mr. Alaa, If you don’t like the ideology expressed in this blog, please spare yourself the effort of reading, I believe that there are many other blogs of your taste.

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An Important Note:
I believe that all religions are great, and greatness isn't something limitied to Muslims or Islam as a religion. If anything else was implied by my words it wasn't intended. Religion is off context, and I believe that my reply on Mr. Alaa goes for all men sharing his ideology regardless their religious beliefs.