I really miss blogging!
You would think that a bi-weekly article will keep my "need to write" satisfied. But it isn’t really the case. I can’t pour my heart out in an article. I should always keep a part of the heart out of the mix. For many reasons, sticking to a certain form of language is one, writing for a critical diversified audience is another.
While writing an article, I have to make sure doesn’t fall under the vanity show category. And I have to stay “politically” and “socially” correct.
I am trying to write things of value. I am not sure whether it is working or not, but at least I am trying.
Blogging something else!
I couldn’t see the difference before. But it is totally different. This is my “Personal Space” hence “Vanity” is not only expected but it is widely accepted.
I can whine as much as I want. I can brag as much as I can.
Which leads us to the point of this post!
I am BUSY!
Too busy that I have to schedule showers.
Too busy that I write the bi-weekly articles on the edge of deadline every single week.
Too busy to talk to friends, to go out, to “live”.
I am too busy I can’t even tell whether being that busy is a good thing or a bad thing.
Also I have been single for quite a while now. I haven’t had a date in around a year. And I haven’t had a man declaring his “interest” for that long too.
I am not sure whether it is a good thing or not. Sometimes I feel it is ok, other times I end up sobbing out of loneliness pain.
Yet for an unknown reason, part of the confident Shimaa is back. I am not trembling as I remember I was. Which means some people will think I am arrogant, others will find me obnoxious. It also means that I am hurting people I love by being so “decisive” in my judgments of their poor selves!
I am not sure whether it is a good thing or not.
Anyway, If you are reading this and you have been hurt with my “Busy-ness” or my new “Confident” “intolerant” attitude. I sincerely apologize. Last year has been really overwhelming and I am terribly exhausted.
The “attitude” isn’t intentional. I am just tired.