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October 08, 2013

On That Corner




I am 34. According to my mirror I shouldn’t be feeling the way I am feeling. I have grey hairs, I have wrinkles, I am not 24 anymore. I aged. I am not supposed to feel like this.

I am lonely, I am broken hearted, I am asking the same set of questions I have been asking for years.

I am tried.

I am seriously tired.

I am tired of the endless tears. I am tired of the bad temper. I am tired of the clichés. I am tired of blaming myself.

I am tired of being trapped in this corner.

I am tired of feeling used and cheap.

I am tired of nagging, begging and feeling that I am asking for too much.

I am tired of asking. I shouldn’t be asking.

I shouldn’t be feeling this way.

The problem is, you can mend a broken heart. Once, twice, thrice but then it is soul breaking.

You change, deeply. You don’t lose your self confidence. You simply stop believing in the good in the world.

What’s the point of living then?

My soul is broken. And I don’t know how to mend this.





11 comments:

  1. L.G.October 10, 2013 at 2:08 AM

    نوال السعداوي ولو إني بجدها طبعا بتنحرف كثيرا عن التصرف الحكيم
    سألها مفيد فوزي ما تعرفيك للنجاح
    قالت له أن أنتقل من فشل لفشل هذا هو النجاح كلما وقعت أقوم مرة أخرى

    عرفت وقتها أني ناجحة وبشدة وأن المحن لم تمحيني من على وش الدنيا لسه
    الروح الطيبة لا تهزم يا عزيزتي مهما جرحتها الأيام

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 10, 2013 at 3:11 PM

    Hani Says:
    refer to your faith in Allah, it is your only way out of this

    ReplyDelete
  3. Shimaa GamalOctober 11, 2013 at 10:13 AM

    والله يا موحة كنت بأقول نفس الكلام ، بس ماعدش فيا حيل خلاص . نفسي في شوية فشل من بتاع الناس ده . حياة هايلة سطحية مستقرة ، من غير ما أحس .
    والله حتى النفس مؤلم . والله حتى النفس مؤلم

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shimaa GamalOctober 11, 2013 at 10:14 AM

    Hani

    I am trying ... But it is really too hard

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousOctober 16, 2013 at 12:56 PM

    M,
    Happy eid ya Shimaa,

    ReplyDelete
  6. Shimaa GamalOctober 16, 2013 at 1:06 PM

    Hello M

    Happy Eid to you too.

    Fienak? :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousOctober 16, 2013 at 1:22 PM

    M,
    Hena:)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Rafael SarmentoOctober 17, 2013 at 12:49 AM

    The Heart Never Grows Old, Love everyone, Serve Everyone, Feed People.

    <3

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousFebruary 5, 2014 at 6:34 AM

    Hey Shaima,

    I've been visiting your blog for a while. I just wanted to tell you that although it is hard, after many heartbreaks you begin to loose faith in humanity. And this is it, we were never supposed to have faith in humanity. We were supposed to invest that faith in Allah.

    Be strong. I too have had my heart broken. Its only made my faith in Allah stronger. Trust him, trust him alone, he will help you.

    Big hugs from Toronto
    xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  10. Shimaa GamalFebruary 5, 2014 at 1:37 PM

    hello :)

    It is all about faith. I think you got it right. Allah sends us signs and tests. All what we have to do is to be patient and trust him.

    I am trying my best not to lose faith :)

    Thanks a lot :)

    Hugs back and don't forget to keep me in your prayers :)

    XoXoXo

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousFebruary 7, 2014 at 8:45 AM

    :-) I just read your response as I was about to go and pray. I will most certainly pray for you. From reading your posts I can see that you are a very hopefully person, full of love and kindness, and you've been hurt because of this. The magnificent thing about the pain is that if our heart is pure, it will lead us back to Allah. He wants us to rely only on him and be closer to him. There is no greater happiness and contentment than in his loving embrace. Do not worry, everything you pray for will be yours at a time of His choosing. And then you will look back and remember, and thank him for the troubles that led you back to him.

    Hugs xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete

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